You Can Get Married In A Hong Kong McDonalds, If That’s How You Choose To Live Your Life

The groom’s heart skips a beat as he sees his bride approach, her long train brushing against the freshly mopped tiles. They lock eyes. “Do you?” he asks, his voice earnest and genuine. “I do”, she replies, holding back tears. “I do want fries with that.”

I was born in Hong Kong, and ever since I moved to Australia, I’ve had national McDonald’s envy. No matter what Australia does under the golden arches, Hong Kong does it better. In the ’90s while we were dipping fries in our vanilla soft serve, Hong Kong was offering chocolate. With nuts! In cones that were more about taste than structural integrity!

While I was playing with a mass-produced plastic Grimace whose facial expression matched his name, my cousins were playing with Hello Kitty toys that were probably worth actual money, and didn’t look like they wanted to murder you in your sleep.

In Australia, when you grow out of McDonald’s parties, that’s it. No more ice cream cakes. But in Hong Kong? You can have a cake made out of a tower of apple pies. For your wedding. Which can accommodate fifty guests over two hours, for no more than $1400.

With the average Australian wedding estimated at costing $30,000, it might be more economical to just make the nine hour flight and binge eat cheeseburgers with your forty-eight closest friends and family. McDonald’s Hong Kong offers a number of different packages.

The one I’ve described is the “Love Forever Party”, but the “Sweetly Party” and “Full Love Party” offer much the same, just for a smaller number of people, and for prices as low as $550 — in a bonus exclusive to the “Sweetly Party”, if you have five friends who you hate, the package offers forty invitations, but only gifts for thirty-five guests.

For your money you get sufficient heart disease for all your loved ones, as well as an MC (McMC?), and “Basic Venue Decoration”. You also get “a pair of McDonald’s balloon wedding rings”, which is something I find harder to imagine than an X-Men movie where Hugh Jackman’s unclothed body isn’t aggressively forced into everyone’s eyes.

It’s not just for weddings either. Peppered throughout the albums of “unforgettable memories”, in between the smiling couples excitedly sucking marital bliss from small Coke cups (because marriage is no excuse to let yourself go), are shots of older couples celebrating anniversaries, and the occasional proposal picture, as well as blissful newlyweds making out with a chicken nugget.

Details are scant on how the whole thing runs. Not every McDonald’s in Hong Kong offers it, and it’s uncertain whether you get the whole restaurant or are instead stuffed into the party room down the side (perhaps with exclusive access to the playground?). It also seems like it’s more directed towards receptions than ceremonies, with time being capped at two hours. The photo options also seem to be somewhat lacking in both imagination, and in awkward pictures of the happy couple sitting on a bench being third wheeled by a maniacally grinning Ronald McDonald.

All up, it’s easy to see the appeal. They offer convenience, value for money, a pair of thermos mugs, a sense of nostalgia, and the opportunity to put the “lov” in “I’m lovin’ it”. The only thing they don’t offer is the opportunity to not have your wedding at McDonald’s. Oh well. Nothing says “happily ever after” like a Happy Meal.

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Elizabeth Flux is a freelance writer with a focus on film, television and pop culture. She edits Subterranean Death Cult and tweets terrible puns @ElizabethFlux.

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Images via McDonalds Hong Kong.