The Twelve-Day, 522-Episode Simpsons Marathon Is Coming To Take Over The Rest Of Your Life
This is how we all die.
American cable network FXX has bought the exclusive cable rights to all 522 episodes of The Simpsons, even all the crappy ones that have come out over the last ten years. To celebrate, the network is kicking off the start of its now-until-forever Simpsons programming with a marathon screening of every single episode, back to back, starting August 21.
Every.
Single.
Episode.
The network has even bigger plans for The Simpsons in the days ahead, planning a website, “Simpsons World”, that aims to give “all authenticated viewers…instant and on-demand access to every single Simpsons episode ever, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week”, as well as “the ability for users to curate their own personalized playlists and share their favorite show clips and quotes”.
Let me rephrase. You’ll be able to watch any episode, any season, any scene of The Simpsons wherever and whenever you want, on whatever device you want, forever.
Forever.
Basically, we all have about six weeks to live before we all perish of malnutrition and slowly decay into our couches, an endless succession of brilliant one-liners and poignant Season Seven storylines playing forever on our iPads, softly reflected off the bleached white of our skulls. Can’t wait.