‘The Feed’ Has Reimagined The Spill As A Private School Election And It’s Glorious

"If I find out who you are let's just say there'll be 35 less people at the formal after party which I am hosting, you are welcome."


Given the schoolyard theatrics of a leadership spill — picking sides, declaring new allegiances, publicly outcasting someone in a dramatic spectacle — you’d be forgiven for being more than a little fatigued by yesterday’s nonsense.

Enlisting comedy trio Freudian Nip, SBS’ ‘The Feed’ took yesterday’s leadership spill to its logical conclusion, recasting it as a private school tiff between two frenemies, Petra and Melissa.

And while Peter Dutton might still be snaking his way through the grass for a likely round two, school captain Melissa is armed with a Ja’mie King attitude that Malcolm Turnbull lacks, and quickly shuts things down.

“Petra has a full on freak out and decided to challenge me as captain, which is suss to say the least,” she says. “Awkward because the vote came back and it was 48 to 35, so I won.”

Of course, much like Turnbull, Melissa has to consolidate her power. Unlike Turnbull, Melissa has the ability to punish her dissenters.

“Okay so my first thought was 48 people are still getting around it, so that’s sick,” she says. “And my second thought was who are these 35 full psychos that are skitzing out? If I find out who you are let’s just say there’ll be 35 less people at the formal after party which I am hosting, you are welcome.”

Still, Melissa fails to address the issues in the room: as vice school president, Petra showed how to spin bigotry into votes with her ‘Stop The Utes’ campaign to “keep poor kids out”, while Melissa’s NBN-esque attempt to create a school-wide WiFi zone has been “really complicated”.

For the record, Petra is extremely not mad about not winning. But rather than re-contest, she decides to drop out and go backpacking “or something.”

Stay tuned for Friday’s vote about whether girls can take a female date to the formal if they’re “a lezzo” — much like Turnbull (apparently), Melissa is pro-LGBTI because she’s “obsessed with Orange Is The New Black“.

Watch the video below.