Culture

This ‘Humans Of New York’ Story Is So Juicy Everyone’s Demanding A Movie Version

Tanqueray the ex-stripper is an absolute icon.

by Michelle Rennex  22 November 2019

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Humans of New York always delivers the most interesting stories.

The photoblog, dedicated to uncovering people with compelling stories to tell, has amassed a following of almost 30 million across Instagram and Facebook.

But no story has quite captured the interest of the internet as much as the three-part series on Tanqueray, the ex-stripper full of anecdotes about New York in the ’70s.

The Start Of The Story

In the first post, Tanqueray explained how it all started. “My mom threw me out of the house at seventeen for getting pregnant, then had me arrested when I tried to get my clothes. Then she fucked the head of parole to try to keep me in jail,” she said. “She was some prime pussy back then.”

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“My mom threw me out of the house at seventeen for getting pregnant, then had me arrested when I tried to get my clothes. Then she fucked the head of parole to try to keep me in jail. She was some prime pussy back then. But the warden did some tests on me and found out I was smart, so I got a scholarship to go anywhere in New York. I chose the Fashion Institute of Technology, which I hated. But by that time I was already getting work making costumes for the strippers and porn stars in Times Square. All my friends were gay people, because they never judged me. All I did was gay bars: drag queen contests, Crisco Disco, I loved the whole scene. And I couldn’t get enough of the costumes. My friend Paris used to sit at the bar and sell stolen clothes from Bergdorf and Lord and Taylors, back before they had sensor tags. So I had the best wardrobe: mink coats, 5 inch heels, stockings with seams up the back. I looked like a drag queen, honey. One night a Hasidic rabbi tried to pick me up because he thought I was a tranny. I had to tell him: ‘Baby, this is real fish!”

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Tanqueray then went on to reveal that her wild fashion sense came from the gay bar scene she got wrapped up in while “making costumes for the strippers and porn stars in Times Square.” She was always dressed to the nines thanks to her friend who’d steal clothes from stores and sell them on the side.

“I had the best wardrobe: mink coats, 5-inch heels, stockings with seams up the back. I looked like a drag queen, honey,” Tanqueray continued.

The Second Act

 

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“My stripper name was Tanqueray. Back in the seventies I was the only black girl making white girl money. I danced in so many mob clubs that I learned Italian. Black girls weren’t even allowed in some of these places. Nothing but guidos with their pinky rings and the one long fingernail they used for cocaine. I even did a full twenty minutes in the place they filmed Saturday Night Fever. But I made my real money on the road. Three grand on some trips. Every time Fort Dix had their pay day, they’d bring me in as a feature and call me ‘Ms. Black Universe’ or some shit like that. I had this magic trick where I’d put baby bottle tops on my nipples and squirt real milk, then I’d pull a cherry out of my G-string and feed it to the guy in the front row. But I never used dildos on stage or any shit like that. Never fucked the booking agents. Never fucked the clients. In fact, one night after a show, I caught another dancer sneaking off to the Tate Hotel with our biggest tipper. Not allowed. So the next night we put a little itching powder in her G-string. Boy did she put on a show that night. Didn’t see her again until ‘The Longest Yard’ with Burt Reynolds. So I guess she finally fucked the right one.”

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In the second post, Tanqueray reminisced on her days as a stripper. “Back in the seventies I was the only black girl making white girl money,” she said. “I danced in so many mob clubs that I learned Italian.”

Despite making most of her money on the road, Tanqueray emphasised that she never had sex with any booking agents or clients. Presented as ‘Ms. Black Universe’, Tanqueray made money from her stage tricks.

“I’d put baby bottle tops on my nipples and squirt real milk, then I’d pull a cherry out of my G-string and feed it to the guy in the front row,” she recounted. “But I never used dildos on stage or any shit like that.”

The Big Reveal

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“The scene was different back then. All the adult clubs were mob controlled. It all flowed up to some guy named Matty The Horse. Honestly the mob guys never bothered me. They were cool, and I liked how they dressed. They wore custom made suits. And they went to hair stylists, not barbers. These guys wouldn’t even let you touch their hair when you were fucking them. Not that I ever fucked them. Because I never turned tricks. Well, except for one time. I took a job from this woman named Madame Blanche. She controlled all the high dollar prostitutes back then. She was like the Internet– could get you anything you wanted. And all the powerful men came to her because she never talked. She set me up with a department store magnate who wanted a black girl dressed like a maid. I thought I could do it. But when I got to his hotel room, he wanted to spank me with a real belt. So that was it for me. I was done. But Madame Blanche set my best friend Vicki up with The President every time he came to New York. And don’t you dare write his name cause I can’t afford the lawyers. But he’d always spend an hour with her. He’d send a car to pick her up, bring her to his hotel room, put a Secret Service agent in front of the door, and get this: all he ever did was eat her pussy!”

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However, the biggest revelation came with the third post where Tanqueray shared something about a mystery past President. Tanqueray spoke about Madame Blanche, a woman who “controlled all the high dollar prostitutes back then. She was like the internet — could get you anything you wanted.”

Apparently Madame Blanche would set up Tanqueray’s best friend with the President whenever he was in the city. “He’d always spend an hour with her,” she continued. “He’d send a car to pick her up, bring her to his hotel room, put a Secret Service agent in front of the door, and get this: all he ever did was eat her pussy!”

As juicy as the story was, Tanqueray refused to share which President it was exactly. “Don’t you dare write his name, cause I can’t afford the lawyers,” she stressed.

A Movie Or A Book?

People following along online couldn’t handle how spicy her stories were getting. Just when they thought Tanqueray had said all that she could say, she came out with information juicier than the last.

But the information drop about the President is what has everyone speculating and super invested.

It’s safe to say that the internet are obsessed with the Tanqueray, the iconic woman with stories for days. Now people are demanding that she get a movie deal, or TV series, or, at the very least, a book full of the wild stories from her youth.

We stan Tanqueray, the iconic queen who knows how to not get sued while spilling all the tea on New York.