Sydney’s New Trams Are As Long As Two Blue Whales, But Sadly Not As Good
Why didn't we just spend billions of dollars on public transport whales?
After what feels like a literal eternity, the very first new tram has finally pulled up on Sydney’s still-incomplete light rail network. It was a real big tram, too, which Sydneysiders have measured the only way they know how: by comparing it to a whale.
Actually, the Sydney Morning Herald kicked off the whole whale-as-unit-of-measurement thing back in 2014, in a graphic by Remi Bianchi that depicted the size of several modes of transport relative to a blue whale (famously 30 metres long).
That graphic resurfaced yesterday, demonstrating that Sydney’s new trams are at least two blue whales in length, and also that we’ve been waiting for them since at least 2014. How good is Sydney’s public transport system?
First tram in decades to pull up alongside Sydney town hall pic.twitter.com/KDzmRGRRs1
— Matt Levinson (@matt_levinson) July 3, 2019
If you're wondering how long Sydney's new trams are in terms of Blue Whales, 1T = 2.233… BW pic.twitter.com/et91eJsECj
— Adam Spencer (@adambspencer) July 3, 2019
You might think that the main takeaway here is that Sydney’s new trams are extremely long transport tubes. In actual fact, though, most people just seem to be upset that Sydney doesn’t actually offer blue whales as a form of transport.
I mean, it’s 2019 — the light rail should be well and truly done at this point, and the whales should be up and running. It’s only right.
Utterly disgraceful that NSW still doesn't have amongst its public transport options actual blue whales. pic.twitter.com/GrhdTFE6LR
— Benjamin Law (@mrbenjaminlaw) July 3, 2019
Seems rude to advertise it as an option if you’re not actually going to provide it as one.
— Anton Schirripa (@schirriant) 3 July 2019
“Do yooo know the waay to Syd-er-neee?” pic.twitter.com/DE29t4bRLs
— Peter Murphy (@PeterWMurphy1) 3 July 2019
@erykbagshaw I find the Blue Whale provides a much superior level of comfort in the ride to work
— Bevan Shields (@BevanShields) 4 December 2014
Others still are just baffled by the fact that Sydney’s new trams are approximately 2.233 blue whales in length. Are these trams simply longer than the optimal length (blue whale), or are blue whales just much smaller than we hoped and believed they would be?
Who’s to say, really?
Blue Whales are… smaller than I thought? I mean that's still HUGE for a mammal. Just. I can actually conceptualise how large a tram is and now I understand how large a Blue Whale is.
… Actually I suppose the implication is you can fit a lot of people in a blue whale. https://t.co/omT0ydiwqR
— Just Cody (@FrayJoker) July 3, 2019
why is tram so long when whale is optimum length.
— Evinho (@evinhod) 3 July 2019
Anyway, if you’re hoping to ride one of Sydney’s new trams, you can get fucked: the 67-metre long boys are currently in testing, and won’t be available as a form of transport until later this year, if ever.
And if you’re hoping to ride a blue whale, what were you expecting — this is Sydney’s public transport system, not Melbourne’s.