Film

Everyone Is Fighting About The Correct Way To Rank All The ‘Star Wars’ Films

'Attack of the Clones' is definitely last imho.

by Patrick Lenton  28 October 2019
Star Wars ranking

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If there’s one thing the Star Wars universe has a lot of these days, more than zoomy laser swords, more than pew-pew spaceships, more than space wizards — it’s bloody films!

There sure are a lot of Star Wars films — two full trilogies, with the third about to wrap it up in December, as well as two standalones. This is a whole extended universe, baby! Naturally, because a lot of Star Wars films exist, people want to rank them. It’s natural, it’s normal.

But because it’s STAR WARS, one of the worst fandoms in existence (ban all fandoms imho), the process is deeply cursed. Instead of just putting up some of your favourite films online, and having a chuckle with your internet friends, a bit of a nostalgic look back at some cool spaceship films that you once saw, the process is instead deeply heated and political.

How DARE you have a different opinions than me about the star war?

On paper, it’s pretty interesting — generally, The Empire Strikes Back scores pretty high, and Attack of the Clones generally appears at the bottom. But other than that… there’s not a lot of consensus. And that would be fine, if we could be sure that it was simply based on pure subjectivity.

However, it quickly becomes obvious that there’s nothing simple and fun about Star Wars fan. As we might, JUST MIGHT remember, The Last Jedi was an insanely controversial film, that became dichotomised between an aggressively vocal bloc of weird incel types who hate “SJWs” meddling with their make-believe universe, and people who don’t suck.

Naturally this has continued in the ranking game, such as this one from someone called ‘Epic Hentai Boy’.

And then of course, lots of people hitting back! The real star war was on Twitter all along.

I actually didn’t realise Rogue One was so popular? I love it, but I was surprised.

Anyway. My ranking is:

  1. Empire Strikes Back
  2. The Return Of The Jedi
  3. The Last Jedi
  4. Rogue One
  5. A New Hope
  6. The Force Awakens
  7. Revenge of The Sith
  8. Solo
  9. The Phantom Menace
  10. Attack Of The Clones.