‘RuPaul’s Drag Race: All Stars’ Recap: I Do Declare That Blair St. Clair Freaked The Frack Out
Who knew a page turn could be so loud?
Let’s get this roast — ahem, Shady Shack — a cookin! All Stars 5‘s penultimate episode went down more or less as expected. Not only did the track-records spoke for themselves, but we know by now that none of the top four were game enough to do a Naomi Smalls. Blair was heading home — but that didn’t make this episode any less brutal.
Blair really, really didn’t want to go home. Still, she could see what was happening, which is no doubt why she was so upset back-stage after the challenge. There was a lot of emotion this episode, especially if you watched Untucked — save for Blair’s post-elimination chat with Michelle Visage, where Michelle, usually quite caring, really went through the motions.
“Yep so sad can’t believe they make me film this during lunch break, oh yeah see you on Whatcha Packin“
Even though the decision was unanimous, the queens were super torn up over it. Jujubee and Shea cried together on Untucked, and the past two episodes have ended with mass praise from the queens to Blair, telling her how much she’s grown, how exciting she is, how excellent she is.
I’m not saying the queens don’t think that, but I do think they knew Blair needed to hear it. With the other three queens at two wins each to her zero, she was perhaps a little insecure despite (or, rather, explaining) her continual boasting this episode.
The pressure of All Stars is so intense, as these queens know that one fuck up or flopped performance can define you for an entire fanbase. At the start of these recaps, I wrote that it was clear Blair was there to prove she wasn’t the little boy we saw on S10 — thankfully, she worked her way out of the Instagram algorithm over the show, and should leave with her head high.
Comedy might not be her thing — shout out to her stand-up joke about eating ‘the crusts’ of someone’s ass, which is truly disgusting and immediately conjured up dingleberry images — but, overall she held her own among some of Drag Race‘s biggest stars.
Calling Ross Matthews Gay Is The Peak Of Comedy, Obviously
This week’s comedy challenge isn’t quite a stock-standard tight five, but somewhere between a roast and a stand-up set. It’s a little confusing, and I think the vague kind-of roast directive ultimately pushed the queens into well-tread territory.
It’s a shame, because even Jujubee and Miz Cracker, two naturally funny queens, didn’t make me laugh too much — especially the former, who really should have blitzed this challenge. But it wasn’t her fault: before the challenge, the queens are given two-on-one coaching sessions with Ross and Jane Krakowski, who is 18 seasons late to the show.
Given how perfect Jane is for the show, it’s wild she’s only appearing now, and the queens’ excitement when they meet her is possibly one of the only genuine reactions to a guest judge the whole season’s (show?) had.
Jane and Ross kind of did Jujubee dirty by telling her that her jokes were too complicated when in reality, they just needed a little fine-tuning.
The end result was something much more ‘simple’ and pedestrian: it wasn’t bad by any means, but it felt like Jujubee really dulled her jokes when she’s been working so well all season with left-of-centre quips and surreal, scene-breaking monologues. This was absolutely her challenge to win, and it feels like, accidentally or not, they led her astray.
They also loved Blair’s very safe (and unoriginal) jokes, then gave her incredibly harsh critiques on the main runway.
Literally their faces during Blair’s performance after gassing her up in the rehearsal, despite the quality not really changing that much?
To be fair, the set was noticeably worse than the rehearsal, as her nerves clearly got the better of her. But it was the editors who got the best of her: who knew a page could turn so loudly? Meanwhile, Jane seemed to have an existential crisis after encountering Miz Cracker.
It’s like she JUST realised that her character’s ‘oh I’m Native American’ plotline in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt wasn’t okay.
They push Shea to play with the S9 finale on-stage to show vulnerability, and it might be one of the few pieces of good advice they offer.
It was surprising Shea didn’t take the win this episode: she didn’t do much better than Jujubee and Miz Cracker, but the set felt much more unique than theirs. Crucially, it had that vulnerability the show revers so much.
To think that the show threw away a didactic win that would have showed how we succeed when we laugh at our trauma! You must have to sign up for Ru’s Masterclasses for that kind of insight now.
Shea after she didn’t get her ‘vulnerability’ win despite changing her whole set to include her post S9 therapy sessions.
We’ve already had a fair insight into Shea’s mental state post S9, but it still remains pretty crushing to hear it directly from her. There’s a lot of rawness in it: she’s only just ready to crack jokes, and it’s clearly not a natural response for her.
It’s genuinely quite brave to push through it. Like Jujubee, Shea has been through a lot. The maturity shines through both their drag, and the way they conduct themselves on and off-line. For that reason, I’d be happy with either to take the crown — not to say Cracker’s immature by any means, but just that the other two are, as much as I loathe to type it, really inspiring people.
She also looks BEAUTIFUL on-stage.
C’est Freak, C’est Chic
This week’s runway theme was Freak Out!, inspired by season 12’s runner up, Crystal Methyd.
Shea, Blair and Jujubee all came out in eye-popping club kid looks: they loved Juju and Blair’s, but not Shea’s for vague reasons. They were all pretty stunning, though — and it’s nice that Juju, as Cracker points out, pays homage to Vivacious.
When the Tuesday blues kick in but you haven’t been able to un-zip from your Saturday looks.
Miz Cracker goes in a completely different direction with a giant plague doctor mask and coat that reveals into a blind sex nymph. It’s fine, but just doesn’t feel as fun as the runway theme begs.
When your queer awakening was a queer steampunk comic instead of Kieran Culkin in Party Monster.
The queens all pick Blair to head home bar Miss St. Clair herself, who picks Jujubee. While there was a lot of emotion all around, the most heartbreaking part of the episode was the lipsync: to disrespect Kennedy Thee Davenport with ‘Fancy’ by Reba? An excellent song, but not one that lets this assassin assassinate.
On Untucked, Shea ‘jokes’ she’s happy she didn’t win so she doesn’t have to lipsync, as it’s really a song that’s worth the $20k tip Cracker takes home. There are so many words, and while Cracker doesn’t do the best job (a cartwheel? why?), she certainly knows the words a lot better than Kennedy, who is just there to get her own cheque. Nothing but respect for my winner of All Stars 3!
Before the episode ends, Ru receives a call: judging by next week’s preview, the eliminated queens storm the werkroom for a mini-reunion. We already know India lied about Alexis’ ‘alliance’ to kick Shea out, but hopefully Alexis gets a redemption on-screen. She deserves it.
But in terms of the Top Three, on Twitter, #TeamShea’s got the most love, with Juju not too far behind and Cracker in a distant third. Of course, the retweets mean little, but it’s fun to see what the show’s audience wants.
It’s a shame All Stars 4‘s double crowning came just before this season had a double win, as I think there’s a strong case for Jujubee and Shea both winning. But with that pretty unlikely, it has to be Derrick, bitch.
Are you #TeamDerrickBarry? Use the hashtag if you want @DerrickBarry to snatch the crown! 👑✨ #AllStars5 pic.twitter.com/D1nnwffKfB
— Claire Voyant (@clairevoyant69) July 18, 2020
RuPaul’s Drag Race: All Stars streams on Stan, with new episodes each Saturday 2pm AEST. Canada’s Drag Race begins July 3, with episodes dropping each Friday 1pm AEST.
Jared Richards is Junkee’s Night Editor and Drag Race recapper. He’s on Twitter.