Please Pray For This Seagull That Fell Into A Vat Of Curry And Is All Orange Now
"He smelled amazing."
Sometimes in life, it becomes apparent that our lives are fundamentally out of our control. That we are adrift in a vast, free-flowing ocean of circumstance, buffeted by the tides of chance, striking out ceaselessly in one direction or other towards a horizon that never draws any nearer. It is only when we stop struggling for a moment, and rest, that we truly see the blissful futility of our endeavours.
Today, that realisation came to this little fellow.
Whatever its dreams or aspirations, this seagull in the UK never envisaged for a second that it would one day find itself entirely submerged in a vat of old chicken tikka masala sitting out the back of a work site.
It never anticipated that it would become known around the world for abruptly turning bright orange and smelling of curry paste, or that his whole existence would be reduced to the following description by a well-meaning nurse: “The thing that shocked us the most was the smell. He smelled amazing, he really smelled good.”
“He cleaned up surprisingly well at the hospital, we used washing-up liquid a few times.”
In its single, wide-staring eye, can we not see our own oblivion? The inevitable passing of all things into nothingness under the gaze of the cold, indifferent stars?
Are we not, all of us, the curried seagull?
