Many people go into uni excited to party, make mistakes and begin a new chapter of their lives. For closeted LGBTIQ+ folk, it’s not always as simple. Maybe you still don’t feel comfortable being out for safety reasons, or you’re only now realising your identity is a little less straight than you thought.

It’s difficult to be totally uninhibited when part of yourself is hidden. This can make uni very isolating because the culture is so overwhelmingly centred on getting drunk, partying and hooking up.

For whatever reason, being in the closet in any capacity at any age is totally valid. Your identity is yours alone, and you can do whatever you please with it. But if you’re closeted or partially closeted and still want to participate in all uni has to offer, here are some ways you can be emotionally and logistically prepared. 

Look For Online Communities

The benefits of the internet in bringing people together is such a well-known idea, I run the risk of sounding like an infomercial from the 90s. But the point stands. There are so many online communities out there that you can find a network of people going through the same things as you, and find support even if your “real life” is lacking.

Educate Yourself

Finding likeminded people aside, there are plenty of resources available online if you need to brush up on your knowledge. Even if you did sex ed in high school, it’s often very heteronormative. It’s worth doing some independent research to know what risks you’re in for and how to mitigate them.

Just make sure to pop incognito mode on if you need to cover your tracks.

Pick A Good Friend To Confide In

Feeling isolated can only make being closeted that bit harder. If you’ve got trustworthy friends and you’re comfortable sharing, having a confidant or two can make a world of difference. They can help you work through your thoughts because being trapped in your head can drive you mad.

Plus, a friend in the know can help cover for you if need be.

Find Some Help On Campus

When you go to uni, you’re going to more than just a place of higher education. You’re going to a place that is essentially a microcosm of everything you may ever need in life. This includes medical advice, therapy and LGBTIQ+ support, all of which are free and confidential.

Uni can be a place where you can get all the support resources you need without any external influence. As long as you’re over 18, there’s no chance of any compromising information falling into the wrong hands. If you feel like you can’t reach out at home or in friendship circles, using uni resources is the best way to get safe, confidential advice and treatment.

Also, if you feel comfortable, there are also queer societies that are all about creating a network of support for LGBTIQ+ folks at uni. If you’re lacking in the friends department, queer societies are definitely worth checking out to find sympathetic, likeminded people.

The journey from totally closeted to totally out can take a lifetime. While partying and making mistakes is the cornerstone of the uni experience, you don’t have to move at the same pace as everyone else.

Most importantly, it gets better.

Kim Koelmeyer is and Arts (Journalism)/Law student at Deakin University and deals primarily in memes and blogging.