Male Pissbabies Are Absolutely Pooping Themselves Over Natalie Portman Being Cast As ‘Thor’
Jane Foster is gonna destroys men's rights with a hammer!
In news that is grim, inevitable, and pathetic — and surprising to nobody online — the world’s worst men have united in an atonal symphony of frustrated tantrums and poop-filled pants over Natalie Portman being cast as Thor.
The announcement was made at San Diego Comic-Con on Saturday that Natalie Portman will reprise her role as Jane Foster in the upcoming Thor: Love and Thunder film, which is helmed by returning director Taika Waititi. She will be co-starring with Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson.
However, Portman’s role will significantly change from her previous position of love-interest and astrophysicist in the new film, as she too will wear the mantle of Thor, wielding the famous hammer Mjolnir and adopting the title of Goddess of Thunder.
So, just to clarify, she is cast as a Thor, not replacing Chris Hemsworth in any way. Yet, the mens… they are still angry.
This should NOT be a surprise to any comic book fans, as the move mirrors an extremely popular comic storyline from 2014.
“I’ve always had hammer envy,” Portman said at the event, according to Variety.
Cue the discordant screech of pissbabies around the world, and hear a thousand unwashed scrotums tighten with fear and dismay. A woman… in the most camp superhero franchise on earth… it boggles the average cargo-pant mind!
Considering how outraged they all got about Captain Marvel simply existing, it’s no surprise they are very triggered now.
Give me a f'm break…I'm a Natalie Portman fan but Thor is a male character… When do we get a male Wonder Women? Democrat PC will wreck the world. Stand up and say NO
— What difference does it make (@realman51580419) July 21, 2019
@EthanVanSciver And Natalie Portman is next Thor!Jesus fucking Christ!! I hated it in the comics when Jane Foster was Thor so fucking much and BAM!💥Here we fucking go again! I’m so done with all of their woke bullshit gender politics virtue signaling! Fuck you Marvel!
— Warren Rohr III (@AngryToxicMale) July 21, 2019
Endgame SUCKED, This will SUCK. the female IronMAN will SUCK. Marvel has shot itself in the foot being all liberalcorrect. I didn't even bother with the meeto marvel movie. Fuck all that crap ⚡️ “Natalie Portman will portray the first-ever female Thor”https://t.co/8r8u2VV6Zv
— American Patriot (@unfilte35535653) July 21, 2019
I hope Taika Waititi is a miracle worker, because Jane Foster Thor is a terrible idea, and Natalie Portman is the worst part of two bad Thor movies.
— Mr. Rictus (@misterrictus) July 21, 2019
Let’s just get this straight — there’s no reason to be dismayed at this news that isn’t straight-up rooted in dank, mushroom smelling, misogyny.
Natalie Portman might have literally have shot your dog in front of you while cackling maniacally, and you still don’t have a leg to stand on in terms of protesting this casting. You have to suck it up! I’m sorry she killed your dog, but she still deserves to wield Mjolnir.
This is a GREAT idea. Eat shit, manbabies.
men: captain marvel should be a man, women aren’t capable of being heroes!!
taika waititi making natalie portman thor: pic.twitter.com/nVFKbMsBOr
— ♡ 𝙗𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙚 ♡ (@imissbilly) July 21, 2019
also natalie portman as female thor? men are gonna hate this pic.twitter.com/zuYoouBqFF
— michelle (@cubacabello) July 21, 2019
all the men ive seen crying because of natalie portman as thor,,,, LMAOOO stay mad 🥰🥰🥰💅
— – 💜💙ᴄᴏᴜʀᴛɴᴇʏ (THOR 4!!!) (@awayinthevoid) July 21, 2019
A lot of people (read men) getting their knickers in a twist over Natalie Portman playing the female Thor despite the fact it’s following the comic book storyline from 2014.
— Laura Holland (@LauraHolland) July 21, 2019