‘MasterChef Australia’ Recap: “DEREK! DEREK! DEEEERICK!”
For this week’s MasterChef Australia Team Challenge, Prince Harry is looking down upon the smallfolk from the gantry. He won the right to sit out of this cook during the Immunity Challenge, which is great for him because this challenge was like a really bad trust-building exercise.
The 10 contestants left in the judges’ toybox are split up into pairs, with each team given 75 minutes to produce two identical sweet dishes.
The catch is that teammates are separated a newly erected Great Wall of MasterChef, so that they can’t see or taste what each other is doing.
Everything relies on their planning and pantry time together at the start of the cook, then what they can tell each other through the wall. Or rather, frantically scream at each other while stirring caramel.
Time starts, and Purple Team’s Simon takes charge in planning an Eton mess. One problem: Teammate Sandeep has no idea what an Eton mess is, and no clue what one looks like.
“It is ‘eat and mess’,” Sandeep later chirps to the camera, poking fun at himself.
If we lived in a world of reason and logic, Simon would take this hint that they should choose something else. A simple tart perhaps, or a lovely ice cream. But MasterChef revels in chaos so Purple Team choose to persevere, meaning Simon will have to describe the dish in excruciating detail.
Why do I feel like Simon and Sandeep’s dish is going to be a straight up mess #masterchefau
— Kiera (@UnderYourPorch) June 19, 2019
For his part, Sandeep cheerily follows Simon’s lead. In his head, he and Simon are holding hands and frolicking through a sunny meadow of daisies.
“Good stuff, great communication, loving it,” says Simon.
“Love you too, buddy,” says Sandeep.
It’s like watching a happy baby playing with building blocks while a conveyor belt conveys them toward a meat grinder.
Over on Red Team, Christina and Nicole are working on their caramels with 45 minutes to go. Christina thinks her caramel isn’t thick enough, so she increases the heat. Unfortunately, she increases it too much, and it starts smoking.
“Tina?” calls Nicole.
“Hold on, I’m having a crisis.”
“OK.” It’s a remarkably sedate response to the word “crisis”.
Fortunately, Christina has it under control and manages to save the caramel, though the mistake puts her a bit behind. Considering their initial indecision when choosing their dish, Red Team is actually coming along rather well.
Also burning caramel is Yellow Team’s Derek, who’s cooking under Anushka’s strict leadership. In the biggest surprise of this cook, Anushka has shaken off the timidity that ruled her picnic challenge captaincy and is taking to bossing Derek around like a tiny drill sergeant.
“PUT THE MOUSSE IN THE BLAST CHILLER,” yells Anushka as Nicole blocks her ears.
“Yes, Nushy!” responds a cowed Derek.
“SORBET. FORTY-FIVE GRAMS OF SUGAR, 45 MIL OF WATER.”
“DEREK. MULTI-TASK!”
“I’M BLITZING THE RASPBERRY!”
Anushka is completely in command and dominating the kitchen, much to the amusement of the other contestants. “The neighbours next door can hear Anushka yelling,” says Simon to camera. “I’m pretty sure I’m following their recipe and not ours!”
The target of Anushka’s demands, Derek frantically tries to keep up with her while George gets in the way and talks about the size of his shards. Unfortunately, Derek takes his eyes off his caramel for a moment too long and it is ruined, meaning he needs to make a new one.
It’s a good thing he can’t see Anushka when he sheepishly informs her, because that exasperated mother look could have reduced him to a ball of shame.
On Blue Team, Larissa is telling the camera what she and Ben are making.
“Today we’re making a basil panna cotta with a strawberry compote – ”
“Larissa,” calls Ben.
“ – a plum sorbet – “
“Larissa.”
“ – and a raspberry shard.”
“Larissa!”
Though they’re taking on a lot of elements, Blue Team have been smart with coordination. They’re doing a panna cotta so they can use the same mould, as well as weighing every ingredient to ensure the dishes taste the same.
Unfortunately Ben is a bit behind, only just getting his panna cotta on the stove while Larissa is on to blitzing the basil in hers. Then when Larissa is pouring her cold mixture into the moulds, Ben’s is still warm.
Thus when Larissa puts her panna cottas in the freezer, Ben shouts to take them back out. Both of theirs need to be set to the same firmness, and his isn’t ready to go in yet.
Rightio Larissa there's still time for you to get the blow torch out and make your panna cotta into liquid. #masterchefau
— Nez (@fraggle73) June 19, 2019
Larissa does so, but even after Blue Team put their panna cottas in at the same time Ben’s seem too runny. A few minutes in the blast chiller helps, but with just three minutes left in the cook he can’t wait any longer. Ready or not, he needs to plate up.
Ben tips the first one out of its mould, and it’s a disaster. It completely falls apart, looking like Shrek’s been put in a blender. The tense MasterChef music dramatically cuts out, and Ben is distressed.
Fortunately, the kitchen gods smile upon Ben and his Hawaiian shirts. He has a backup which, against the laws of probability, seems to be set just fine. Larissa therefore never has to see the mess Ben made, and he can retain as much dignity as one can have when they wear Hawaiian shirts on the regular.
It’s the final minutes of the cook, and everyone is frantic.
On Red Team, Christina decides they should finish cooking off their underdone crumbles on the stove. On Green Team, Tati burns the brulee on her creme brulee and has to do another one. On Purple Team, Simon is telling Sandeep exactly where to place every single berry on the plate. On Blue Team, Ben is asking Larissa whether to add the tuile shards as he does so anyway.
And on Yellow Team, Derek is carefully snapping his own tuile shards into 6 by 8 pieces, so focused that doesn’t hear Anushka asking if he’s plating the praline.
“DEREK! DEREK! DEEEERICK!”
“Alright! Two shards!” Derek cheers to himself, oblivious.
Time is up, everyone exhales, and Sandeep air-10s the MasterChef Wall in lieu of his teammate. Contestants then stand silently on either side of the Great Wall while the judges taste their dishes in private. It’s weird.
Despite the chaos, some respectable food comes out of the contestants’ ordeal. The best dishes of the night are Christina and Nicole’s apple crumble tarts with brandy cream, which look and taste identical apart from Nicole’s larger mound of apple. “I feel like I’m eating one dish here,” says George.
Larissa and Ben’s basil panna cottas, plum sorbet and strawberry compote also come out on top. Though Larissa’s is much brighter in colour and doesn’t have the tuile, their structure and taste are very similar overall.
Christina, Nicole, Larissa and Ben thus join Prince Harry in this year’s top 10, safe from elimination.
The same cannot be said for the rest of the teams.
Bizarrely, though Derek and Anushka repeatedly confirmed the measurements and even used rulers, the shards on their chocolate mousse with black salt, raspberry sorbet and hazelnut praline crumb are completely different sizes. Though they otherwise look similar, the aeration of their mousses and toast on the tuiles are different as well. At least they both have their pralines.
On Green Team Tati’s shortbread is broken, and both taste completely different. Further, Tati’s jasmine tea creme brulee has been steeped for too long, as she had difficulty hearing Tessa and missed when she strained her tea leaves.
It has probably already been said a million times but WHY is Simon pushing for a dish that a) Sandeep is completely unfamiliar with and b) is not exactly replicable?! #MasterChefAU
— Jessica Linke (@stinky_linke) June 19, 2019
Finally and predictably, Simon and Sandeep’s Eton messes are just straight up messes. Though they’re alright individually, they don’t look all that similar and every single element tastes different. The only things that are the same are the berries.
That means either Derek, Anushka, Simon, Sandeep, Tati or Tessa will miss out on being in MasterChef Australia season 11’s top 10, and carry that regret for the rest of their lives.
Amanda Yeo is a Sydney-based writer, lawyer and MasterChef enthusiast who still thinks Reynold should have gotten an immunity pin for his 30/30 dessert in season seven. Follow her on Twitter: @amandamyeo.