‘Masked Singer Australia’ Recap: ‘Death Is Nigh!’, Says The Background Actor
And the puppet will destroy us all.
For most of this episode, I was preoccupied by Jackie O’s startling tabloid revelation that last week she looked bloated on-camera because prior to episode two she binge-ate ’80 or so’ seaweed snacks, prompting her to balloon up.
This week, as promised, she looked more like herself. But ruining your day by eating too much is easily the most relatable thing Jackie O has ever done, though sticking by an abhorrent man for your own personal gain is unfortunately pretty relatable for lots of people in Australian media.
I miss Lindsay! Dannii is a trooper and Jackie O is actually really excellent on Masked Singer and Dave Hughes is horny and dumb, but so is Urzila, which just doesn’t work as a dynamic — we really can’t have two people guessing the likes of Kim K.
I see what they’ve gone for: Urzila is an outsider of Australian pop-culture too, but she just isn’t as perplexed by our slang and customs as Lindsay was last season. Plus, the other judges seemed as perplexed by Lindsay as she was them, creating this wonderfully odd miscommunication that felt very meta and somewhat sad.
This show was made by people who have never done drugs trying to create what they imagine drugs feel like, accidentally creating this simultaneous upper-downer combination that nothing else comes close to except death, which, famously, is nigh.
The desperation is gone, as the smash success of S1 proves that guessing panel spot is actually a pretty cushy gig (especially with the news that Jackie O is making $1 million off it, too), so there’s no real cringe in being associated with it anymore.
When Christine Anu was revealed as the Goldfish tonight, Osher didn’t even ask her why on Earth she’d do the show, as per usual: it was just accepted that she would want to do it. That’s both more than a little insulting to Anu, who is a legend, but also reflective of where we’re at.
Without sounding too Black Mirror, we’re all oversharing on the internet more than ever and overstepping privacy lines we previously wouldn’t have imagined: who wouldn’t jump at the chance to do something different for a few weeks? Who cares if it’s embarrassing? No one will remember in a week, anyway — we’ve all got Goldfish brains now, baby.
Dragonfly
How it will feel to travel in 2025.
Last week, I settled on Courtney Act, Jen Hawkins or Sophie Monk for the Dragonfly, mostly due to a reference about a wardrobe malfunction. Sophie Monk seems too obvious — the judges guessed it straight away, for one — but it all does connect.
She’s an Aussie hillbilly for sure, struggles to pick the right note (Bachelor), has escaped horrors (her D-list slashers/Bardot), and tries not to judge but sometimes does — again, Bachelor. There’s also the utter lack of taste in singing ‘Dance Monkey’, which again, seems to match up.
There’s a slight misdirect this episode when Monk returns her best friend’s (how many best friends does Jackie O have?) call to say it’s ‘definitely’ not her, but that means very little.
Another name that’s thrown out is Jo-Beth Taylor, who I have simply never heard of and don’t care to research. Sorry to this woman, but that probably means it’s her.
Dragonfly is Jo Beth Taylor. Did I’m a Celebrity (jungle clue) the Egypt visual clues is because Molly Meldrum signed her and her album was called 99 Reasons (clue almost 100) #maskedsingerau
— cameron adams (@cameron_adams) August 17, 2020
Kate Miller-Heidke
This is the second time Urzila has guessed Kim K, which makes me think she’s playing the long game with the joke here and by the end episode ‘Kim Kardashian’ will be the only words she will say. That’s comedy.
As I said last week, Queen is Kate Miller-Heidke; she also has a new album coming soon, so promo-wise it makes sense. She’s disguising her voice, but she’s a theatre kid through and through and can’t help but bring out those operatic runs and quirks.
If you need me to really prove it, this week’s clues connect. The sports stuff is odd, but the Rabittohs outfits on the security guards is likely a reference to her opera adaptation of John Marsden’s children’s book, The Rabbits. Plus, the reference to being in the stars on top of her royal subjects probably alludes towards her ‘Zero Gravity’ performance at Eurovision, where she was thrown round above the stage on bendable stilts against a starry background.
But the biggest proof?
Last week, after I guessed it was her in this recap, Kate Miller-Heidke followed me on Twitter. I had never tweeted about her or followed her (sorry Kate, ‘Caught In The Crowd’ made me cry lots when I was 15 and I’m 90 percent sure I wrote a short story about it). It’s her, but I hope she sticks it out all competition long: her performance this week was one of the few on this show that stands on its own.
She also was pretty adamant she wasn’t on last season, but hasn’t tweeted out this year. It’s her!
Someone’s been suspiciously quiet this season given this was her last year 😂 #MaskedSingerAU pic.twitter.com/GA2Wq3xmCT
— Rob (@macdorober) August 17, 2020
I Don’t Want To Write About Puppet But I Still Think He’s Shaun Micallef Even Though Some Of The Clues Don’t Work? Maybe He Is Simon From The Wiggles But Maybe He Will Be Revealed To Be The Dark Void Within The Hearts Of All Men, Released For One Song Each Monday 7.30PM AEST, And We Shall Pray He Is Eliminated Soon So This Hell May End. But What If He Seeks Revenge?
h̵͖̰̏͋̓̾e̷̬͉̖̓̔̄̌̔l̸̙̾̄l̴̡͕͒̀o̷͓͎͛̔͝ ̷̢̛̤͙̉͐r̷͖̟̩͎̟̀e̴̘̲̳͋͗̕ä̸̩͉͔̭́ḓ̴͔̈́͒̔͠e̷̡̹̰̺̽̄ȑ̸̛͙͒͘̕͜ͅ,̷̻̀̿̋̅̎ ̷̦̬̦̯̞̅͒̽̒͝w̴̱̩̖̲̚͜͠e̴͖̳̍̚l̵̢̮͉̞̮̀̍c̸̣̒̂̈ọ̶̡̟̥̏͝m̵̢̲͉̫̉̇͆̀͠e̶͚̱͛̈́̓́ ̶̜̻̓̑͛t̸̢̢̟̥͚̑̊̆̊͠ò̷͕̻̟̲̗̍͂͋͘ ̸͉̏̀̚t̸̫̠͛̀̉͐h̶̢̊̑͛͝e̸̤͙̾̀̄̽͑ ̸̠̊̅̈p̶̞̥̗̒͗̈́ụ̵̄͜p̸̡̙̝̭̔̇̀̉͝p̷̣͕͕̉͛́ē̴͕̪̩̳̬t̶̠͍̜̜͖͘͝ ̵̆͜͝z̵̨͕͙̳͒̒́̆͝o̶̹͓̠͎̊͠͠ṅ̴̛̺͈̩̖̿̀̊ę̸͒̈́
Frillneck
Last week, I guessed this was either SBS presenter Anton Enus or Offspring actor/thespian Eddie Perfect.
This week pretty much confirmed it’s Perfect — even ignoring the voice, the reference to ‘not caring’ what Miley Cyrus says is a pun off her song ‘Nobody’s Perfect’. There’s also a mention of bugs, which seemingly alludes to Perfect composing the Beetlejuice musical.
‘COLA’ is the funniest part of this episode, no I will not elaborate further.
The mentions of protests and gay rights don’t quite connect to anything to me, but Perfect’s written and starred in political works before (Rock Against Howard, Keating! The Musical) and while he’s not gay, he’s probably a friend of a friend or three of Judy.
The finale clue about his career not being his first, second or third option is interesting — it could reference how he started in comedy then moved to acting then to writing, but he’s a real polymath and goes back and forth, so it’s a bit of a stretch.
Goldfish
The joy of freedom.
Goldfish gets flushed, and we find out it’s Christine Anu, which explains all the Olympics references last week. She also played a queer character in ABC show Outland, hence the pride flags — or, as Urzula put it, “there’s the LGBT”, suggesting that if the judges can’t be expected to complete a whole thought out loud, why should I?
We also learn that Anu received a black belt at age 12. At age 12 I spent most of my time learning how to masturbate but I guess we’re all on different journeys! And isn’t that what Masked Singer Australia is all about? Right? Can anybody please tell me what this is about?
See you tomorrow.
Masked Singer Australia is on Channel 10 each Monday and Tuesday at 7.30pm AEST, and available to stream on 10Play.
Jared Richards is a staff writer at Junkee, and on Twitter.