The Immortal Mary Poppins Is Back To Overthrow The Government With Lin-Manuel Miranda

What is Mary Poppins? Is she a witch? A trickster? A god? While it is probably the latter imo, we might have a few clues to her true identity as photos from her extremely late sequel, Mary Poppins Returns, have started hitting the internet.

Set for release December 26 2018, the film sees Mary, now played by Emily Blunt, visiting grown-up versions of Jane (Emily Mortimer) and Michael Banks (Ben Whishaw) after a family tragedy in Great Depression-era England. Naturally, while they have all aged like humans, Mary has respectfully declined all that and is if anything much younger.

And folks, god or not, it looks like Mary is going Old Testament in the sense that she has now replaced sugar and medicine with a big, big thirst for bourgeoisie blood?!

The film also stars Lin-Manuel Miranda as Jack (the next generation version of Dick Van Dyke’s chimneysweep), Meryl Streep, Colin Firth, Dick Van Dyke (again? but different?), and Angela Lansbury, as well as every British actor imaginable.

In the spirit of the original’s whimsical versions of historical figures such as the Suffragettes, Mary Poppins Returns apparently sees Mary create some kind of magical, working-class revolution. Seriously look at how goddamn happy they look to be blowing something up.

Personally, the only thing I want out of the next film is Mary Poppins revealing herself to be God and destroying Harry Potter/The Anti-Christ like in that extremely cooked Alan Moore comic (appearances were changed for copyright’s sake but that’s the two of them below; Harry is the one spewing hellfire fyi).

I wanna see Emily Blunt's Mary Poppins destroy Daniel Radcliffe's Harry Potter like in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen pic.twitter.com/L9ZwE4zmHV

— Spencer Perry (@TheSpencerPerry) June 7, 2017

Good, she’s God. Glad we cleared that up.

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Feature image: Entertainment Weekly.