TV

Mark Holden As A Sexually Threatening Clown On ‘Dancing With The Stars’ Is The Stuff Of Nightmares

NOPE.

Dancing With The Stars is a show I don’t have the capacity to understand even at the best of times. But the following clip from last night’s episode is particularly bewildering: Mark Holden dressed as a threatening clown, spanking his dance partner like a sex pest, thrusting his groin into Daniel MacPherson, taking angry, personal jabs at each of the panelists, faux-farting on camera, and terrifying the entire nation during a family program.

“I’ve got to sit you down on my knee, young girl,” he said to judge Kym Johnson, “and have a ‘bloody good conversation'”.

And with that, the parents of Australia drew their daughters in tightly, and changed the goddamn channel.

If you want, you can watch the dance in full here — but it includes moments like this.

Helen Richey’s face said it all, really.

"You can fuck right off now, thanks."

“You can fuck right off now, thanks.”