Netflix Is Finally Bringing Us The Original ‘Jurassic Park’ Trilogy (The Good Ones)
Netflix is a clever girl.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that the definitive ranking of the Jurassic Park series is: Jurassic Park, that video of someone shakily playing the Jurassic Park theme on the melodica, every other Jurassic Park movie.
The original film is an all-time classic, a perfectly made creature feature elevated by the more-than-capable direction of ole mate Steven Spielberg and performances from cigarette-smokin’ Samuel Jackson, straight up smokin’ Jeff Goldblum, and cinema’s most famous example of the ripple effect.
Now, the blockbuster is making its way to Netflix, where it’ll premiere on March 1.
Hold on to your butts. The original Jurassic Park Trilogy is coming to Netflix on March 1st pic.twitter.com/6JuwHAo6Hf
— Netflix ANZ (@NetflixANZ) February 12, 2019
Oh, that’s also the day that the rest of the ‘original Jurassic Park trilogy’ (AKA the movies that don’t star a confused looking Chris Pratt and a high heel-sportin’ Bryce Dallas Howard) lands on Netflix.
Which is, uh, less exciting, let’s say.
After all, the second film is a bizarre misfire from Spielberg, a movie about a group of unlikable people bumbling around an island inhabited by dinosaurs that then transforms into a movie about a t-rex destroying New York around the halfway mark.
I love The Lost World: Jurassic Park to bits, but the plot kickoff is pretty thin…
Hammond: THERE'S A SECOND ISLAND.
Malcolm: WHAT
Hammond: WANNA GO?
Malcolm: NO, NOT REA–
Hammond: I SENT YOUR GF THERE
Malcolm: FUCK. I'M GOING
Hammond: say hi to Vince Vaughn
Malcolm: WHAT— Kevin, (@KevinApocalypse) February 12, 2019
The dinosaur effects are half-hearted, the plot is meandering and dull, and Goldbum, one of the few cast members from the original who returns, looks extraordinarily bored.
In fact, the third Jurassic Park film is probably the most successful after the original. It’s not good, per se, but it is admirably bonkers. This time it’s Sam Neill’s turn to wander around looking bored, which he does with the glazed eyes of a somnambulist even when, in the film’s most memorable scene, an honest-to-God raptor speaks his name.
Still, even though they might not come close to touching the original, if you’ve never seen them before, Netflix are giving you an unbeatable opportunity to breeze through the two Jurassic Park sequels. Or just watch the original three times in a row, it’s up to you.