Film

Honest Trailers Find No Faults With ‘Die Hard’ Because It’s Objectively The Best Christmas Film Ever

"THIS MOVIE IS FRIGGIN' PERFECT."

die hard

For the past four years YouTube channel Screen Junkies has been uploading scathing takedowns of the tired tropes and glaring plot holes of pretty much every movie you have ever known and loved.

They called The Lion King “a G-rated movie filled with domestic abuse, a child raised by a same-sex couple, and the most traumatic death of a parent since Bambi’s mom got shot in the face”. They’ve become iconic for their relentless (and controversial) critique of Love Actually. In the face of five-star reviews from nearly every critic in the world, they last year said Richard Linklater’s Boyhood was essentially the same thing as Harry Potter “but without a plot”.

Now, just after you’ve binged the whole franchise over the Christmas period, they’ve taken on the original Die Hard. Their forthright take: it’s “the greatest Christmas movie ever made”. It has “amazing action, great heroes, fantastic villains, hilarious comedy, suspense, romance, excellent stunt work, a rich supporting cast, and awesome one-liners”. It turns out being nice is significantly less fun than the alternative.

For the sake of balance, a few years ago Screen Junkies did provide a harsher critique of the film as they asked a doctor to analyse the injuries sustained by its lead John McClane. The results would suggest the writers have a pretty terrible understanding of the capabilities of a human body.

That however doesn’t take into account the fact McClane is played by Bruce Willis: a man incapable of feeling pain and/or fully dying at all.

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“Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker.”