A Break-Up Letter To My University
With grad around the corner, there are some things that need to be said.
I’m breaking up with you. It’s not you, it’s me. It’s just I don’t think we can take our relationship any further. You’ve taught me so much over the past few years and I will forever be grateful for this, but I don’t see how there could possibly be anything else in it for me. So I’m ending things here. It’s time for both of us to move on.
We’ve spent so much time together, it’s hard to imagine life apart. Who else am I going to stay up all night with just to wake up in the early hours of the morning for another long day together? There’s no one else I’ve brought to bed nearly as often as you, even if I did often ignore you to watch Netflix instead.
Remember all those times you tried to bring other people into our relationship? I’m not sure what you were thinking or why you were so insistent on doing things in a group. Sometimes it worked out alright, but other times it was like, “Really? Him? Are you sure?” I definitely was better at picking groups than you, that’s for certain.
I’m not sure what you were thinking or why you were so insistent on doing things in a group.
You had some weird kinks, uni. What was with the whole sitting in a silent room for two hours while colouring in little boxes until my hands cramped? Was that really necessary? Sometimes I worry your expectations of me were too high. I doubt I am ever going to have to do such a tedious task for anyone else.
Why was it that you always had to be right? I know you’re the “expert” in everything but there are some things I’m still pretty sure I was right about. If I had a dollar for every time you told me I was wrong and then couldn’t actually explain what the right response, I might actually have enough money to pay off all the debt I’m in because of you.
Speaking of debt, you cost me a lot of money. All of the coffee dates we had together, the impulse purchases of sugar-filled snacks. I’m going to enjoy only having to spend money on myself for a while.
It wasn’t all bad though. I’ve met some amazing people because of you! I hope it won’t be awkward if I still hang out with them even if we aren’t seeing each other. All those nights at the bar were so much fun – even the ones I don’t really remember! I especially enjoyed our ball nights, when we got all dressed up and danced the night away while drinking mimosas. I finally understood what people meant when they said “ball is life.”
I’ve met some amazing people because of you! I hope it won’t be awkward if I still hang out with them…
Not to mention, I really did learn a lot from you. Before we met I always thought stakeholder was just someone who didn’t use cutlery while eating meat (boy was I wrong). I’ve gained so many skills for the future, and like Napoleon Dynamite said, “girls only want boyfriends with great skills”. If you replace “girls” with “jobs” and “boyfriends” with “employees” then he was really onto something.
We’ve had some really great times together. After all of this time together it feels like we’ve come to a natural end. Maybe we’ll be together again some day? Who knows what the future holds! But for now we need to go our separate ways. I promise I won’t be too jealous if you decide to see other people and I really hope we can still be friends.
P.S.: I’m still going to use your ID card for discounts until it expires. Not sorry.
(Lead image: The To-Do List/Varsity Pictures)