Five Straight White Men Called Bruce You’ll Meet At Your Local Anti-Abortion Rally

They have some truly compelling arguments.

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Earlier this week, NSW parliament voted against a bill put forward by Greens MP Mehreen Faruqi to decriminalise abortion. That means abortion will still only be available if continuing the pregnancy is a risk to the pregnant person’s physical or mental health, taking into account economic and social factors.

Rallies were held outside parliament from both opposing and supporting camps of the bill, where I caught up with the five cis white men who were opposed to the changes. Oddly enough, their names were all Bruce. They truly had some compelling arguments.

Bruce #1


Bruce exclusively wears chinos and polos and it makes him really sad that he isn’t allowed to celebrate his Aryan heritage. The only other thing in the world that makes Bruce sadder than reverse racism are abortions. He attends these rallies because abortion makes him really sad and he really cares about unborn white people.

“Think of how sad the world would be if mother never had me. Think about all the unborn beautiful white men like me that could be here but aren’t because of abortion. It is sad, so sad.”

Bruce #2


Bruce was chain smoking and threatening Bruce #1 for dressing like a “homo,” and “making them all look bad.”

Despite being the absent father of six children and currently paying no child support, Bruce thinks abortions should stay illegal. “Nah, they should just take responsibility aye. Like just step up. You cant just run away from your problems. It’s about self-control. If they don’t want abortions maybe they shouldn’t open their legs.”

At this point, there was a mild scuffle behind us and I accidentally stood on Bruce’s shoes. “Hey fucken watch my TNs.”

Bruce #3


Bruce is quite timid and told me this was the first time he’d met an Aboriginal before and asked me if I knew Jessica Mauboy. Bruce just wants to stay home and punch cones and watch anime porn but Bruce #2 dragged him here. Him and Bruce #2 are neighbours. He hopes to one day have sex.

Bruce #4


Bruce heard about the abortion decriminalisation bill on a Reddit thread. His username is mra_aus69.

“Nah, these sluts can’t just have sex and not deal with the consequence. Abortions are just a feminist conspiracy to kill unborn boys. Have you seen The Red Pill? Like I wrote on Clementine Ford’s page, it really makes you think.”

Bruce #5


Bruce came here straight from church. He thinks Hillsong is too spicy and is a huge fan of George Pell. We had a quick chat about sex and, for some weird reason, threesomes.

“I think abstinence is the best contraception. What a man does with his cousin… I mean woman in his relationship is up to him, but it is also between the lord as well. All relationships are threesomes when you think about it — you, your girlfriend (who may or may not be your cousin) and the lord. Abortions are murder and in the bible, murder is really wrong. Like Old Testament wrong.”

Just in case it wasn’t clear, all of these photos are stock images and the subjects do not necessarily hold the views described in the article. They may or may not be called Bruce. Credits: Dima BushkovSteve WilsonVic and reynermedia.

Nayuka is a Gunai/Kurnai, Gunditjmara, Wiradjuri and Yorta Yorta woman working in the youth sector. Nayuka writes about black politics and feminism. She tweets at @nayukagorrie.