Everyone Is Hanging Shit On Apple’s Weird Looking Wireless Headphones
You know you're going to end up buying them though.
After rolling up singing carpool karaoke with James Corden and Pharrell because millennials love that shit, Apple CEO Tim Cook took the stage at the company’s latest product launch overnight and confirmed the longstanding rumor that Apple was ditching the traditional headphone jack. Instead, users will be able to connect their headphones to their new iPhone 7s via the lightning port. What a time to be alive.
What Does Apple’s Missing Headphone Jack Mean For Your Crippling Fear of Abandonment?
— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) September 7, 2016
The removal of the old jack has allowed the company to make its latest iPhone thinner and more water resistant, while also improving its battery life. Users with older headphones will still be able to plug in using a lightning port adapter.
Alternatively, you can shill out an extra $229 for Apple’s new rechargeable wireless headphones “airpods”, which basically look exactly like your old headphones but with the chord cut off.
As you might expect, Twitter’s reaction to the new earbuds swift and merciless.
R.I.P ? AUX cord… You will be missed. #AirPods #Appleevent pic.twitter.com/r5OVsGaBlr
— Alex Fost (@D8Alexander) September 7, 2016
#AirPods? I guess another name was taken. pic.twitter.com/DzI7xUGbbe
— josh groban (@joshgroban) September 7, 2016
Hopefully this is the first and the last time Apple announces a product that you have to insert into your body. #AirPods
— Seth Worley (@Awakeland3D) September 7, 2016
hi evreybody a good hack for never losing ur new apple airpods is to tie them both to a long string & then tie that string aroumd ur phone!!
— jomny sun (@jonnysun) September 7, 2016
How to Talk to a Woman Wearing Airpods
1) Wait 5 minutes for her to drop the Airpods down a sewer grate
— Chris Kohler (@kobunheat) September 7, 2016
Harambe never would have allowed Apple to get away with killing the earbud port.
— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) September 7, 2016
You can find out about the rest of Apple’s announcements via the following promotional video that looks like it was edited by the same people who made Requiem for a Dream.
Missed our big launch news? Here it is in 107 seconds. Don’t blink. pic.twitter.com/zCdx8oDwgg
— Apple (@Apple) September 7, 2016
hey i missed the apple announcement, did they fix itunes
— Josh Fruhlinger (@jfruh) September 7, 2016