Everyone’s Really Happy That Peter Dutton Fucked This Up So Badly
A self-own for the ages.
Well, things have really backfired for Peter Dutton. After spending the week organising two dramatic leadership spills in an attempt to grab the Prime Ministership for himself, he just lost to last-minute contender Scott Morrison.
Yep, that’s right — Peter Dutton tore his own government to shreds, quit his extremely high-powered job as Home Affairs Minister, and has come out of it with absolutely nothing. As the man himself tweeted back in 2013:
— Peter Dutton (@PeterDutton_MP) July 14, 2013
Australians have spent the week making it pretty clear that they can’t stand Peter Dutton, mostly because of his years of commitment to an offshore detention policy that has seen children’s lives put at serious risk in conditions Amnesty International has compared to torture. Given that record, people are pretty fucking stoked he’s not going to be our Prime Minister.
Behold, a nation’s sigh of relief:
In Australia, as in prison, one must seek solace in small victories. Peter Dutton lost, so let’s call it a win
— Ben Pobjie (@benpobjie) August 24, 2018
so Peter Dutton blew up the whole government with two challenges in a week and he still didn't get the top job he wanted, now the government continues in the same direction as it would have under Turnbull – what was this all for????
— angus livingston (@anguslivingston) August 24, 2018
— Kon Karapanagiotidis (@Kon__K) August 24, 2018
Dutton lost everything. Most powerful portfolio ever. Back bencher who will lose his seat.
— That Dr Sheep Person (@noplaceforsheep) August 24, 2018
Eat shit, Dutton!
But also fuck you, Morrison!
— James O'Connor (@Jickle) August 24, 2018
While people are thrilled to see Dutton eat shit, however, they’re also not all that stoked about our new Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, who is widely considered to be only a marginally less evil. After all, let’s not forget Morrison launched the “stop the boats” policy that kicked off Australia’s offshore detention crisis back in 2013. A 2014 Human Rights Commission Report found that Morrison had failed to act in the best interests of asylum seeker kids, instead noting that his actions led to children in detention developing serious mental and physical illness.
Also, Morrison is still a member of the Liberal Party, the bunch of idiots who’ve shut down the country for the past few days so they can bicker behind closed doors. People have had enough, and they’re venting their anger about that too:
Reminder Scott Morrison is every bit as evil as Peter Dutton, but just looks less creepy. His cruelty as Immigration Minister was unimaginable.
— Sam Regester (@samregester) August 24, 2018
So glad the Liberal party saved Australia from its worst nightmare by delivering its second-worst nightmare.
— Colley (@JamColley) August 24, 2018
ScoMo. The man responsible for the deaths of Reza Barati and Hamid Kehazaei, illegally detaining and torturing refugees and asylum seekers, including children. What a disgrace. Looking forward to kicking this mob out. Bring on the election. #libspill https://t.co/9joAv5ZGoK
— Shane Bazzi (@shanebazzi) August 24, 2018
Scott Morrison is also an evil fucker though. Looking forward to seeing the Liberal party destroyed at the next election.
— Clementine Ford (@clementine_ford) August 24, 2018
You know politics is really broken when you feel a brief moment of relief at the news that Scott Morrison is the new Prime Minister #thelesseroftwoveryevilevils
— Jenny Leong MP (@jennyleong) August 24, 2018
To be honest, the nation seems so done with the Liberal Party at this point that I doubt we’ll see any genuine relief until the next federal election. I guess we can still enjoy telling Dutton to eat shit for another few hours though. What a self-own.