Life Lessons You’ll Learn When You’ve Been Dumped

It's not all doom and gloom in the long run.

It’s not something any of us want to go through, but rejection is something we’ll all probably experience at some point in our dating lives. No matter how long the relationship lasted, it’s always going to be painful — and it’s particularly painful if it’s out of the blue, or you’re on a totally different page to the person doing the dumping. But it’s not all doom and gloom in the long run. For those of you who are going through a breakup, you’ll most likely gain these pearls of wisdom.

How To Rely On Yourself

It’s a harsh reality when you go from seeing someone every day to never, particularly when you’ve shared so many personal things about yourself. Getting accustomed to losing a friend is a shock to the system at first and it takes some getting used to. But going through that process does make you resilient. Instead of relying on a partner to help get you through a bad day or to help you make big decisions, you’ve just got to suck it up and do it. It can sometimes be even more satisfying, standing on your own two feet.

How To Spot Mistakes And Warning Signs

This isn’t to say you caused the breakup with your “mistakes”, it’s just saying no one’s perfect and you learn from each different relationship experience. If it was your first ever relationship, there may have been things you didn’t know weren’t normal until you were outside the relationship. The experience will teach you what to accept and not accept in future relationships. With hindsight, you’ll probably start to see the warning signs you never saw when you were in the relationship, and you’ll learn not to take those for granted again either.

How To Soften The Blow For Someone Else

You might have had an amicable dumping experience, or maybe it was the absolute worst. Either way, you’ll learn how to treat others if you’re in the same position. If your ex did the total dick move of dumping you via text, you’ll likely never ever do that. Why subject someone to something that will make then feel 100 percent worse? If it was a shitty situation but your ex was actually quite good about it, you can take a leaf from their book and try to make things better for everybody.

How To Be A Good Friend 

There’s nothing quite like a break-up to realise which friends are really there for you. Who’s coming over for a hug and a pizza feast at 3am in the morning when you’re feeling devastated? It’s a good way to figure out the fair-weather friends from the true BFFs, and good gauge of what things might help someone else when they’re hurting in the future.

How To Cope With Pain

It will probably feel really shitty for a while and unfortunately there’s no avoiding that. If you weren’t ready for the relationship to end, you might even spend your time hoping you’ll get back together, or dwell on it instead of getting over it. It can be hard to put a timeframe on these things. You just have to feel your emotions (as crap as they may be) and let time do its thing. You’ll think about it a lot to begin with, but there will be a time where you don’t even realise you’ve stopped letting it bring you down.

This post originally appeared on Hijacked. It’s republished here with the author’s permission.