The Drummer From That Batshit Metal Band Break-Up Post Did Not, In Fact, Die

Well everyone, it finally happened. Someone told a lie on the internet. I know, I’m as upset as you all are. The big ol’ internet enabled lie in question surrounds that viral Facebook post from last week, where metal band Witchrot announced they were breaking up in extremely metal fashion.

Amongst the reasons for the band going on “hiatus”? The band’s guitarist fucking the frontman’s girlfriend for almost seven years. Oh and apparently their drummer died. RIP.

This is my favorite band break-up notice ever. pic.twitter.com/WsIq1i2d6p

— Conor Sullivan (@conortheconor) November 26, 2018

The band dropped this spicy meatball of an announcement, watched it go viral as hell and then seemingly disappeared from the internet. Requests for comment were denied and any details on this mysterious drummer death went unexplained. That is until now.

In a statement to the media, Peter Turik finally opened up on what the hell was going through his head when he made the explosive Facebook post. Whilst he confirms that the drummer in question didn’t actually die (GASP), there’s apparently at least some truth to the epic downfall of Witchrot.

“The other Sunday I posted on Witchrot’s Facebook page that the band was taking a break. Two people I cared about stabbed me a trillion times in the heart with betrayal and that resentment scars like hell fire. It obviously left me feeling wretched.” he begins, super chill-like. “After writing, I asked Simon, our drummer who quit a couple weeks prior (due to the fact that he has become increasingly busy drumming for Crazy Bones, Gloin, and Brenda), if that was a good idea. He said, ‘Yeah, but say I died, no one will give a shit.’ Clearly they did.”

Jesus Christ that’s metal. “Say I died, no one will give a shit”, is the rawest damn sentence I’ve read today.

Turik finishes up by saying he will 100% be capitalising on this newfound internet fame, saying “The amount of positive feedback people expressed, with regards to my situation along with the praise for our music, was touching to say the least… Of course, now we have big plans to tour extensively in the near future.” Not with the duo that stabbed him “a trillion times” one would assume.

Witchrot’s FB page alone jumped a few thousand likes in the last week so if you want to join the new lineups growing fanbase, you can check ’em out on Bandcamp here.

Personally, I’m looking forward to the song old mate writes about this whole ordeal. May I suggest the title ‘Resentment Scars Like Hell Fire’?