Donald Trump Threatened To Jail Hillary Clinton In The Second Presidential Debate

But the real hero of the debate was a man called Kenneth Bone.

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Today’s US Presidential debate was always going to be an incredibly wild 90 minutes of television. It was the first time Trump and Clinton went head to head since the release of tapes that captured Trump boasting about sexual assault.

With Clinton leading in the polls and more and more Republicans deserting Trump, old mate with the weird fake tan that somehow covers everything except a large circle around his eyes like some sort of reverse raccoon figured he had nothing to lose.

Before the debate had even started Trump went personal and he went hard. Pre-empting attacks on his own character, particularly his views on women, he hosted a pre-debate press conference with three women who have accused Bill Clinton of sexual harassment and a fourth who was the victim in a rape case where Hillary Clinton, then a defence attorney, defended her alleged attacker. It was a very bizarre moment.

It’s difficult to encapsulate just how completely… ballistic this debate was, so I’m going to cheat and list some of the weirdest moments.

Clinton’s repeated use of the slogan “Our country is great because we’re good.” What does that mean? Great is a superlative of good. Anything that is great is already good, it’s a completely nonsensical statement.

Trump pivoting every single question into a discussion of how he would “beat ISIS”. His comments gloating about sexual assault? “I’ll beat ISIS.” Tax policy? “I’ll beat ISIS.”

The audio tapes. There was a fair bit of warm-up before the moderators asked about the recordings. Trump responded by denying he actually said it (when he clearly did), writing it off as “locker room banter”, apologising for it, declaring that he respected women more than anyone else in the world, then hurling mud at Bill and Hillary Clinton. But despite expectations, the audio recordings didn’t feature all that prominently in the debate.

Trump threatening to jail Clinton. Yeah, he really said this. Twice. Firstly he promised, if he was elected, to appoint a “special prosecutor” to investigate Clinton and try and throw her into jail. Then, in response to Clinton declaring “It’s awfully good that someone with the temperament of Donald Trump is not in charge of the law in our country,” Trump said “Because you would be in jail.” #2016

Halfway through the debate Trump started just following Clinton around the stage… for no apparent reason. It was very weird and I still don’t understand why he did it.

There was actually some serious policy debate. This was probably the most surprising thing of the whole event. Despite all the chaos and madness, the candidates actually battled it out on key policy issues like the economy, healthcare and foreign affairs. We didn’t really get anything new, but it was jarring to see them debating their different ideas, when the lead-up suggested it would just be 90 minutes of Trump melting down.

The debate ended with each candidate being asked what they admired most about each other. Clinton? “His children.” Trump? “Her refusal to quit.”

It turns out the real hero of the debate was neither Clinton nor Trump, but the guy who asked the last question: Kenneth Bone. Yeah, I think it sounds like a fake name too. Bone has become a meme in the hour or so since the debate wrapped up.

Good on you, Kenneth Bone. You’re not the hero America deserves, but definitely the one it needs. And judging by today’s debate, the country desperately needs a hero.