Two Professional Darts Players Are Accusing Each Other Of Farting During A Tournament
Both men denied it, but which one of them supplied it?
If both parties smelt it, will we ever know who dealt it?
Gary Anderson and Wesley Harms, professional darts players and fully grown men, have accused each other of letting it rip during their second round match at the Grand Slam of Darts. Though Scotsman Anderson defeated Dutch Harms 10-2, winning his way to the UK tournament’s quarterfinals, Harms blamed his disappointing performance on a distracting and objectionable smell, which he believed could be attributed to Anderson’s flatulence.
“It’ll take me two nights to lose this smell from my nose,” Harms told television station RTL7L via The Guardian.
However, in a post-match interview, Anderson stated that he thought the odour was coming from Harms.
“I thought he had shit. I thought Wesley had farted on stage,” said Anderson when asked about his alleged butt trumpet.
So both agreed that there was something rotten in the state of Wolverhampton. However, as each player has denied it, it remains unclear who supplied it.
“You can put your finger up my arse — there’ll be no smell there,” said Anderson upon being told that Harms believed him to be the culprit. “I thought he has shit and I went, ‘that’s dirty.’ It was bad. It was bad. It was a stink. I thought it was him. Then he started playing better [and I] went, ‘must have needed to get some wind out.'”
The smell was described by Anderson as “rotten eggs”, which certainly sounds disgusting enough to be a serviceable distraction. But whether the culprit was deliberately using olfactory warfare in an attempt to throw their opponent off, whether they ate too much cheese and were too embarrassed to admit it, or whether the smell originated from some silent but deadly third party, the source of the noxious cloud is as of yet unknown.
“Usually if I fart on stage I shit myself,” said Anderson, offering up way more information about his bowel movements than anybody asked for. “You know that because I’ve told you in a documentary. If I’d farted and it smelled like I’d put my hands up and go, ‘sorry, I need to get off.'”
THE FLYING SCOTSMAN IS THROUGH | He beats Wesley Harms 10-2 to progress to the quarters 🏴#bwinDarts pic.twitter.com/JxAgPtFIO4
— PDC Darts (@OfficialPDC) November 15, 2018
Indeed, distressingly, it wouldn’t have been the first time Anderson suffered a butt malfunction during a darts match. Speaking to Express Sport earlier this year, Anderson recounted suffering food poisoning while playing a match several years ago. “What I thought was wind wasn’t wind,” Anderson said. “But it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was — put it that way.”
Considering how open he’s been about shitting his pants in the past, it’s reasonable to assume he would admit it if he were the offender. But Anderson remains adamant that it wasn’t him. “Oh no. Hands up. Swear on me kids’ life. So help me God. Nothing crossed.” And Harms isn’t copping to it either.
Just one more great mystery for the ages.