Cardi B Just Made An ASMR Video, So Drop Everything And Prepare To Feel Sensations

Here’s a sentence I never thought I’d write: Cardi B has just branched out into ASMR videos, and she’s got a real gift for them.

ASMR, if you’re new to this, stands for autonomous sensory meridian response — they’re those videos where people whisper a lot and touch a bunch of things with different textures, which viewers tend to find either extremely soothing or extremely annoying. Cardi B recorded her own 13-minute effort as part of an interview (of sorts) with W Magazine, and it’s…well, just watch it.

The video begins with several minutes of Cardi B purring into the microphone, before she changes tack and begins to just list her greatest hits, except very quietly.

“Bodak Yellow…yellow…yellow……..yellow,” she whispers, pausing half way through the repetitions of “yellow” to switch microphones. She runs her nails up and down said mics as she speaks. They’re very pointy nails, and the microphones are almost certainly shredded now. A worthy sacrifice to the cause of ASMR.

And to those who say ASMR lacks “plot” or “drama”, think again — mid-way through the video, Cardi B reaches down and returns with a large grey mass, which at first glance could be either a rug, a cushion, a dead animal, that ball of fuzz you pull out of your vacuum cleaner on the rare occasions you remember to clean it, or some combination of all of the above. Thankfully, Cardi B whispers a clarification: it is a rug.

Perhaps most surprisingly, there are opportunities to learn a lot about Cardi B in this video (see: her love of blankets), though you must learn all of these facts in a very slow whisper that may just send you to sleep. Though as Cardi B herself readily acknowledges, that’s kind of the point.

You can indulge in the full sensory experience below. Enjoy!