Culture

Byron Bay’s New Sparkly Dildo Statue Fails To Penetrate Local’s Imaginations

That schlong, sch-schlong schlong schlong.

For those about to start packing for a trip to the delightful seaside NSW town of Byron Bay for the annual Falls Music and Arts Festival, you may want to clear some time on your travel itinerary to make sure you visit an exciting new tourist attraction. The Byron Bay Silver Schlong.

The giant sparkly silver dildo is a surprise new installation that popped up literally overnight last week in the middle of a roundabout in Byron understandably confounding locals who woke up to a huge dick-like chunk of metal in their beloved town. I’m assuming the reactions were pretty much this:

Part of a $5.6 million refurbishment of Bayshore Drive just north of the main town centre, the sculpture is designed by artist Corey Thomas and apparently is NOT supposed to be a dick. It’s not even a dildo — apparently, it’s a lighthouse made of birds?

byron bay schlonggThe artist’s original impression of the non-penis.

The current extremely dildoesque appearance of the sculpture is not it’s final form, with Thomas still slowly pulling apart the schlong to eventually get it closer to the above design. Many locals have been uploading photos of its gradual expansion to the public Facebook group Byron Bay Community Board.

Still looks like a robot dick to me!

The popular Byron Bay FB group is also home to the locals various and often hilarious reactions to the monolith, with the vast majority of commenters not exactly thrilled with the vibrator made of razors vibes the “lighthouse” is bringing to Byron’s entry point.

Comments range from the fairly tame “An absolute fiasco!” to the more severe “It’s actually pretty appropriate for Byron ….a big dick to represent all the little dicks in town” and of course the extremely Byron “No amount of drugs could even make that thing look good”.

Some Byron Bayians (Byronites? Byronies?) have also taken it upon themselves to suggest re-designs for the space dick, in order to make it less phallic and more in sync with the vibrant beach town.

byron bay monster dick

byron bay dick 4

Ok, that last one will haunt my dreams. Never change Byron!


Images via Facebook / Byron Bay Community Board