Controversial New Bunnings Sausage Sizzle Rule Threatens To Tear Nation Apart
STOP THE PRESSES.
Bunnings has introduced a new safety rule governing the placement of onions in bread at sausage sizzles. And the ensuing controversy has threatened to tear this great nation apart at the seams.
On Tuesday, Bunnings Chief Operating Officer Debbie Poole confirmed to 3AW that from now on, community groups running sausage sizzles outside Bunnings hardware stores will be advised to place the onion underneath the sausage, in order to prevent them from slipping out and “creating a slipping hazard”.
“Regardless of how you like your onion and snag, we are confident this new serving suggestion will not impact the delicious taste or great feeling you get when supporting your local community group,” she said.
Naturally, the announcement created a bit of a sizzle on social media. Get it? Sizzle? Fuck you, I stand by that.
Praying for the person who slipped on a stray Bunnings BBQ onion sliver and prompted this policy change
— Josh Butler (@JoshButler) November 13, 2018
Good. I’ve been avoiding Bunnings for years out of fear I’d slip on the piles of onion shreds everywhere. https://t.co/JNQ2hqdJsi
— Nic Negrepontis (@NicNegrepontis) November 13, 2018
Onions before sausage.. @mmmhotbreakfast pic.twitter.com/5HISDsZs1l
— Adam (@Adam_CF) November 13, 2018
For some, the idea of being told where to put their onion is apparently a great affront. An outrage. A scandal. Nanny state something something.
What is happening to this great country.
Leave the Bunnings Sausage Sizzle alone! #channel7
— Harkember (@Harlee_Grey) November 13, 2018
FUCK YOU BUNNINGS YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG MF pic.twitter.com/gGJJ4OT0QS
— 🎄❄️ today’s war on xbox 🎄☃️ (@fivewalls) November 13, 2018
3AW: “the left is soft!”
Also 3AW: “ONIONS MUST GO ON TOP OF THE SAUSAGE”— Wes Mountain (@therevmountain) November 13, 2018
Either way, spare a thought for whoever is in charge of Bunnings’ social media today. It’s going to be rough.