Male Brown Bears Are Having Heaps Of Oral Sex, And The Scientists Are ON IT

Scientists in Poland have just published what they believe to be the “first observations of long-term, recurrent fellatio in captive brown bears kept in proper conditions after being orphaned”. Way to go, Poland! Way to go, bears!

The two male bears in question were orphaned in 2003 and put in captivity at a Croation sanctuary. They were monitored for 116 hours over six years, and in that time the smaller bear gave the larger bear 28 blow jobs in total.

The study was conducted by the Polish Academy of Sciences’ Department of Wildlife Conservation, and published to Zoo Biology earlier this month. They didn’t hold back on the detail, either. “All cases appeared to be initiated by the provider, who approached the receiver while he was resting on his side or with part of his abdomen exposed,” the report reads. “If the receiver’s genitals were not exposed, the provider would push his head into the pelvic region or use his paws to separate the hind legs. After accessing and initial licking of the penis, the provider would find a more comfortable posture, such as sitting or lying…once actual sucking started, neither bear changed position.”

Each interaction lasted between one and four minutes. And yes, there are photos.

According to the head researcher Agnieszka Sergiel, the behaviour may have started because the bears were orphaned early, before being weaned, and started hunting around for other things to suckle on. “Forced early‐weaning and subsequent deprivation of proper and sufficient stimulation of the suckling reflex can result in teat‐searching behavior persisting into adulthood,” he writes. “In the case reported here, the provider may have found a substitute for teat‐sucking that also resulted in a let‐down of substitute ‘milk.'” Not too much of a let-down, it seems; the bears kept on doing it, well into adulthood.

While researchers have witnessed fellatio in captive bears before, this is the first time it’s been seen in bears who are living in good conditions, with adequate mental stimulation — meaning that in this case it could be a marker of pleasure, rather than stress.

In related and equally delightful news, female fruit bats do it too.