Smashing Pumpkins frontman and generally cooked human Billy Corgan has penned a lengthy essay declaring that he isn’t Taylor Swift’s father, and that he — Billy Corgan — actually doesn’t exist at all.
If, like us, you’re lost, here’s how it all began. Over the past week or so, the internet has been gleefully obsessing over a side-by-side comparison of Swift and Corgan’s faces, which is apparently ~evidence~ that Corgan is actually the pop star’s father. This is it:
The frontman got wind of the joke and decided to weigh in on the meme in a series of rambling Instagram posts. At first, Corgan simply laughs it off — admitting that it is a rather hilarious “internets” joke directed at him, and not the “lovely and talented Miss Swift”.
But then — predictably — it got fucking weird, with Corgan deciding to wax lyrical about the struggle of humanity in the digital age.
“There simply is no end to how many are struggling, and it seems to have some connection to this modern or digital age culture we are living in,” he writes. “Where a real [sic] you must negotiate time-space next to the more shiny or dark social media avatar of you, and so on and so forth up the food chain of governments and endless celebrity.
“Each tier of human life augmented to the point where what you no longer know what, or whom, to believe in; including God.”
Perhaps fearing that no one was reading anymore, Corgan then decided to throw all remaining sense out the window to declare that he, Billy Corgan, doesn’t actually exist.
“There is NO such person as ‘Billy Corgan’,” he wrote. “He (BC) does not exist. Or, if he does exist (per these times), he is a creation from my mind to yours, and no different than a cartoon drawing of Batman or Sponge Bob.”
He goes on like this for a few thousand more words, finally ending with: “You can keep Billy Corgan, he is dead, and he’s there for you to mock and use as you wish.”