Even The ‘Beached Az’ Whale Wants You To Boycott The Melbourne Cup
It's time to come together and be a "neigh-sayer".
Every year the pushback against the Melbourne Cup grows — mostly on account of it being a barbaric and inhumane event which thrives on animal cruelty and posits that the only way to have fun is by getting absolutely trolleyed.
This year, however, one of the biggest celebrities in the Southern Hemisphere has gotten involved with the criticism of Australia’s annual horse sacrifice. That’s right, the Kiwi Whale from viral sensation Beached Az is here to tell you that the Melbourne Cup is absolutely fucked.
The clip’s only some 50 seconds long, but it’s packed with one-liners, jovial horses, and of course, a giant whale talking in a gentle, kindly New Zealand affect.
“What’s wrong with a little punt and a tipple?” asks Pelican, dolled up in horse racing rags.
“Nothing,” says Whale. “Except when it’s at the expense of sensitive and intelligent animals like horses.”
“Not all horses are intelligent, hey,” butts in Horse. “I know a handful that are just huge dickheads.”
It even has a call to action: at the end of the clip, Whale encourages all Australians to come together and be Melbourne Cup “neigh-sayers.”
Basically, it’s a work of art, and you should watch it in full here: