Film

There Is Nothing I Hate More Than The Plastic Bag From ‘American Beauty’

The floating bag is the worst moment in cinema history.

by Patrick Lenton  6 February 2019
American Beauty Plastic Bag

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When I studied screen writing, I had a lecturer who started off his course by turning off the lights, fiddling with his laptop for 15 minutes, and then finally showing us the plastic bag scene from American Beauty — and friends, when he turned the lights back on, that middle-aged man was unapologetically weeping.

It was unspeakably awkward, and not just because I am emotionally repressed and scared of the wind.

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To refresh your memory, the scene consists of two sullen teenagers watching a video of a bag being tossed around by a stiff breeze, while a melodramatic piano plonks in the background. Nothing has broken my brain more than the stupidity of this moment, trying to work out why this piece of whimsical trash could force a human adult to cry.

It was being forced to watch this scene that I realised that maybe — and this might be a strong reaction — I hate art?

At the time, I decided that perhaps I was missing context clues — who were these gloomy youth, and why were they spending their time monologuing about aesthetically pleasing garbage? Is there perhaps more to the story? Has the plastic bag been going through a hard time?

The pretentious boy states that the bag is “dancing for him” — is this some kind of Centre Stage moment? Now, if I was teaching a film class, I would simply show the scene where the ballet dancers in Centre Stage drive a motorcycle onto stage.

That is a definably weepably beautiful moment.

A Beautiful American

Unfortunately, the prestige film American Beauty doesn’t offer a lot of context to the world’s saddest bag.

If you need a refresher, it’s a film about how hard the suburbs are for the average horny middle-aged man. It’s also a “statement” about the American dream or whatever (not all it’s cracked up to be, apparently, not when you’re randy for teens!), but mostly consists of Kevin Spacey (yikes) struggling to not have sex with his daughter’s friend, who is very young.

Naturally, this plot about a very thirsty dad was widely and profusely critically lauded by film critics — which perhaps says something about the nature of film critics more than anything else. ANYWAY.

It’s a perfectly cromulent film I guess, although it would be much better if it revolved around an important dance competition.

The bag watchers are neighbourhood kids, who are sad because they are nineties teens and phones don’t have meditation apps yet. It’s not exactly rom-com material — they are basically just weird and existential around each other, until the sad boy shows her the bag video.

Literally, this is the description on Wikipedia: “The pair bond when Ricky shares what he considers the most beautiful thing he has ever filmed: a plastic bag being blown around by the wind.”

WHY though? If someone showed me that, I would have said something non-committal like “oh, wow” or “hmm, interesting”, and then left forever.

For centuries, film critics have been debating about whomst the titular “Beauty” is in the film American Beauty. Most people think it is the attractive child that is the focus of Kevin Spacey’s attentions, while others think it is Annette Benning’s dream of becoming a real-estate mogul.

But in actuality, the film is trying to argue that the true “beauty” is a bag. And that’s monstrous — reusable totes are the only ethically beautiful bag.

That Special Bag

“Do you wanna see the most beautiful thing I’ve ever filmed?”

What a red flag in itself. Funniest thing? Sure. Most critically lauded? Maybe. Dumbest? Absolutely. But most beautiful thing you’ve ever filmed? It’s inherently pretentious. This blowsy carry bag, this discarded piece of wank, is basically the epitome of the painful student film.

The plastic bag scene  is the turtleneck sweater of the cinematic world.

The plastic bag scene is the video version of trying to casually wear a beret after visiting Paris once on a Contiki tour.

The plastic bag scene is the visual equivalent of being verbally explained a Woody Allen film at a party, in this, the year of our lord, 2019.

There’s a reason why it was so expertly lampooned in Not Another Teen Movie — it’s ludicrous.

But why is it so pretentious? Is it because there’s something inherently funny about watching a simple bag? Perhaps.

Or is it because it is dealt with in such an overly earnest, painfully serious way by the characters? I think that’s partially it — it could be such an incredibly funny scene, we should be laughing AT this nerd and his windy thing.

But not only does the film take it seriously, people watching are meant to as well — and that’s weirdly hilarious.

“Sometimes there’s so much *clenches fist* beauty in the world,” says the pretentious boy. “I feel like I can’t take it, and my heart just kind of gave in.”

How are we meant to take that seriously?

Do Not Encourage The Awful Boys

We should not encourage the bag movie.

Our tacit support of this terrible piece of content, this piece of dripping teen wankery, has consequences outside of ourselves. Think of everyone who has had to watch a teacher weep over how important, how extravagantly canonical this melancholic ode to banality is? Think of the screen children, forced to suffer through the lecture.

Think of all the awful teen boys who think they will be rewarded with a flash of breast if they create a sad home movie? We should not encourage them to think that!

Think of that resigned look on Thora Birch’s face, when directly after seeing the bag movie, she leans in and decides to kiss the awful boy. Teen boys who see that scene think that she’s been so impressed by the flopping wind-bag that she’s overcome with lust.

Whereas PROBABLY, subtextually, she’s so worried that he will show her another 15 minute video of some mildly locomotive litter, that she realises the only way out of it is to smooch him.

We should not encourage them! Boycott the bag, boycott the bag!

I’m not saying we have to boycott American Beauty –although tbh, this film is a weird hill to die on these days (yikes). We just have to acknowledge that the fifth character of American Beauty (Horny Dad, Homophobic Dad, Sad teen 1, Awful Boy) is actually the bag. That fucking floating bag.

We just need to acknowledge the plastic bag is the worst character.

Patrick Lenton is the Entertainment Editor of Junkee. He tweets @patricklenton.

All this week, Junkee is heading back in time to relive the greatest moments in pop culture from 1999. For more 1999 content, head here.