Life

7 Signs You’ve Outgrown Your Friends

Sometimes our uni friends or our high school friends don’t cross over well into our new grown up lives.

When we’re in our 20s many of us are going through university, joining the workforce, and changing our social patterns and groups. Sometimes our uni friends or our high school friends don’t cross over well into our new grown up lives.

So how can you tell if you have outgrown your friendship group?

#1 When Your Friends Want To Party All Night But You Have Work At 9am The Next Day

If you’re thinking more about your next deadline, or that report your boss wants early Monday morning, then you probably aren’t thinking about where to find the cheapest tequila shots on a Saturday night.

Of course, that’s totally fine! One of the biggest parts of our 20s is becoming more serious as we grow up. We aren’t the same person we were at 18 or 19 when we are 25 plus.

#2 When Your Friends Are Living At Home/In Share Houses But You’re Looking At Home Loans

There’s definitely nothing wrong with living at home or in share houses in your 20s but if your friends are living a completely different style of life to you, it can be really hard to find common ground with them. Your goals have changed and it can be hard to stay friends with people who are on different paths.

#3 When Your Friends Are Swiping Right On Tinder But You’re After Mr/Mrs Forever 

Do your friends constantly talk about their recent hookup or their new partner of a week that they are sooo in love with?

When you’re sitting there thinking about finding someone you can settle down with, or you’re already in a long-term relationship, it can be hard to relate. Maybe you want someone you can build a life with instead of breaking a bed with.

#4 When They Don’t Check In With You Often

Your 20s help you realise which people are worth your time.

Do you ever feel like you’re making all the effort to check in with your friends, or are you always the one saying “we should totally grab a drink” but they never make the effort to actually get that drink?

It sucks when we feel ignored by friends or like you’re drifting apart, but can’t change it. If you are, check in with them and see if you can reconnect. Or maybe, its just time to cut each other loose. 

#5 You Want To Go To Fancy Bars And Restaurants But Your Friends Can’t Afford It 

There’s nothing wrong with not being able to afford $20 espresso martinis but if you want to try out fancy places it can be hard to not feel guilty when your friends are constantly wincing at the price list.

If your friends are worth it, alternate each of you picking places that suit each of your budgets.

#6 You Want To Discuss Politics But Your Friends Donkey Vote

A big part of growing up is becoming more conscious of political issues that affect you.

If you and your friends don’t agree on the importance of granting equal marriage to queer people, for instance, then maybe you have outgrown each other.

#7 When You’ve Unfollowed Them On Social Media

The death of friendships is when you don’t want to delete each other on Facebook because maybe it feels too final, so you just unfollow their posts. Maybe they post too many memes or selfies when you want to talk about how great Book of Mormon was, or complain about work and Turnbull.

If you’re already drifting away from each other as you find it difficult to have a good discussion, then maybe you just don’t have anything in common anymore.

So there it is, all the signs you might need to say goodbye to your old friend group. It’s normal to outgrow people as we evolve and age. It doesn’t mean you have to cut your friends loose, maybe you just become ‘a coffee every few months’ friends or acquaintances.

Think it over carefully, and keep the people who enrich your life around you.

Rain Tiligadis is a journalism student at Deakin University. She resides in Melbourne, can debate politics for hours, and has a small Starbucks obsession.

(Lead image: Girls/HBO)