A Deep Dive Into 50 Cent’s Incredibly Unsettling Promo For A Barcelona Hostel

Do you remember when 50 Cent was the biggest rapper in the world? Not only the biggest rapper at the time, one of the biggest rappers ever. Through the blessings of Dr. Dre and Eminem, 50’s debut album Get Rich Or Die Tryin’ was the best-selling album of 2003 and spawned ‘In Da Club’ which, you know, also did pretty well.

Remember when 50 Cent was considered to be neck-and-neck career-wise with Kanye West?

Well, this is 2016 and things have changed. Behold “In Da Hostel” (do you get it) a Cribs-style advertisement for Hostelworld, in which 50 Cent shows us around a hostel in Barcelona. Yes, like the hostels that backpackers stay in so they can cut costs and have sex with each other.

It begins with 50 Cent’s signature “G-g-g-g-g-G-UNIIIIT!” which is used to signal the start of another surefire banger and now signals 50 Cent opening the doors to some discount accomodation in Barcelona. In the background there’s the kind of ‘hip hop’ beat that you would find in the pre-set settings of a children’s keyboard.

The first shot we see of the hostel, is a middle-aged woman watering a plant. 50 Cent only endorses hostels where plant maintenance is not only encouraged, it’s advertised.

Carlos on reception is completely un-fazed that 50 Cent is walking around the hostel that he works at. 50 Cent is referring to Carlos as “my man”. Carlos is not his man. Carlos plays it cool anyway.

50 Cent checks out two teenage women who could be his daughters, and then comically walks into a door frame because he is so distracted. In hostels in Barcelona there are many young women to ogle, and OH&S doesn’t even exist on account of all the 40-year-old men who are continually walking into door frames. They just cannot stop walking into door frames.

50 then leads us into the lounge and tells us that it’s 12,000 square feet, which at one point was also the size of his bathroom. A graphic tells us that the lounge is full of “dope-ass books”. The lounge is where you can relax.

As 50 Cent walks out of the lounge, he advises a young chess player who he calls “Chris” that his next move should be “bishop to rook four”. 50 Cent is a world champion chess player, who can simply glance at a game in between admiring how relaxing the lounge is and looking at teenage girls, and still know what the next move should be. 50 Cent spends so much time in the hostel that he knows all the backpackers by name. Neither Chris nor his friend are surprised to see 50 Cent.

Chris plays chess in slow motion, just like in hip hop videos. “Yeah!” 50 Cent raps in the background.

50 Cent picks up a tattered book. “Europe on a budget,” he says. Enough said.

50 Cent takes over a young man’s game of foosball. The guy gives this up willingly but then looks very mad about it. 50 Cent is victorious.

50 Cent then takes us to the pool. He pats a young man wearing a tank top on the back and says, “Jordan, you might need some suntan lotion” because 50 Cent knows every backpacker who is staying at the hostel and he cares about their skin. Everyone in Barcelona speaks English, so Jordan understands him and nods.

50 Cent says that pools are about “all walks” enjoying “community vibes”. He sees some young women who he hasn’t said hello to. He hasn’t learnt their names yet. One young woman speaks some fast words in another language that 50 Cent doesn’t understand, so he just smiles.

50 Cent takes us to the dorm rooms in the hostel. Copies of Get Rich Or Die Tryin’ start evaporating from music store bargain bins, as if they never were. 50 Cent smells a towel in the dorm room.

50 Cent shows us his locker which has many gold chains inside, protected by a tiny lock like you would find on diaries for little girls that they sell at Target. “Of course, this is where all the magic happens,” 50 Cent says, before flopping on the bed like a small child jumping into a pile of fresh laundry.

50 Cent changes his clothes and goes to “the club” which is the lounge with the lights turned off. Everyone seems moderately pleased to see him.

50 Cent “hits the bar” which is conveniently located next to the pool table. “You see how we do,” 50 Cent says, while a young girl with a giant crucifix earring stares lovingly at him.