2019s Most Enthralling Beef Is Happening Online Right Now, And Everyone Is Obsessed
Coleen Rooney and Rebekah Vardy might not be familiar to you, but their beef will give you life.
It’s almost certain that you won’t know Coleen Rooney or Rebekah Vardy, the two British quasi-celebrities at the heart of 2019’s greatest beef. But you know what: this story is so good that it doesn’t matter for a single second.
Some background. Coleen Rooney and Rebekah Vardy are WAGs, or footballers’ wives. Coleen is married to Wayne Rooney, one of England’s most beloved — if controversial — football stars, while Rebekah is married to the not quite as well-known Jamie Vardy. As a result, Vardy and Rooney operate in the same circles.
But that doesn’t mean that they’re friends, as their explosive beef proves.
See, for years, Rooney has had stories from her private Instagram sold to the press, most notably to Britain’s infamous The Sun. Every time that Rooney posted something, she found that it ended up in the pages of a gossip rag shortly thereafter.
Frustrated, Rooney hatched upon a plan: she would block her stories from every one of her followers, except the one person that she suspected of leaking her private information. Then, she would post fake stories there, and see if they ended up in The Sun.
The result? Well, probably best for Rooney herself to explain.
“I have saved and screenshotted all the original stories which clearly show just one person has viewed them. It’s …. Rebekah Vardy’s account.”
This has been a burden in my life for a few years now and finally I have got to the bottom of it…… pic.twitter.com/0YqJAoXuK1
— Coleen Rooney (@ColeenRoo) October 9, 2019
Obviously this is one of the finest ways that a celebrity has ever outed someone who has wronged them. It’s so fine, in fact, that Vardy’s response, which was delivered shortly thereafter, feels almost underwhelming.
— Rebekah Vardy (@RebekahVardy) October 9, 2019
Anyway, not to matter. Even if Vardy couldn’t provide anything but a typical, lifeless response, the internet filled that void in the story with a raft of fantastic memes.
Everyone reading Coleen Rooney's tweet. pic.twitter.com/sxQ01ZyYrs
— Kristian (@vonstrenginho) October 9, 2019
Gay people explaining the Coleen Rooney / Rebekah Vardy thing pic.twitter.com/bepXpmj5vq
— Mike T (@majtague) October 9, 2019
Gays turning up to Football Twitter after Colleen Rooney pulled off the gag of the decade pic.twitter.com/6i3NTcciWr
— Sean (@seanbgoneill) October 9, 2019
“It’s……Rebekah Vardy’s account.” pic.twitter.com/fVn4rn3cUL
— Andy (@alreadytaken74) October 9, 2019
"I blocked everyone from viewing my Instagram stories except ONE account" pic.twitter.com/8v8EIVVRP4
— Sarah_Woolley (@Sarah_Woolley) October 9, 2019
and it was……… Rebekah Vardy's account
oh my god it was Rebekah Vardy's account pic.twitter.com/iLqrf2KP8M
— an patrúnacht 🕸 (@saoirse_idk) October 9, 2019
— Megan Lawrence (@MeganAmy_L) October 9, 2019
— The Jase 🐕🎸🎥 (@jasemonkey) October 9, 2019
Even better, internet sleuths have discovered this story goes way back. Rooney first posted about the two-faced friend sharing her secrets in January, before she knew who it was. And a random Twitter user by the name of Dave offered her some advice that would prove important.
my man dave needs to get a big talking head moment in the netflix doc pic.twitter.com/0DP42ZsGgZ
— Séamas It Ever Was (@shockproofbeats) October 9, 2019
What a gift this story is.
Lead image: Wikimedia Commons