Film

Robert Pattinson Says He’s Trying To Invent A Pasta You Can Hold In Your Hand

He's become a massive internet meme -- again.

by Joseph Earp  13 May 2020
Robert Pattinson

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Robert Pattinson is the most chaotic human being on the planet.

We know this. We’ve established it. A few weeks ago, in fact, someone on Twitter went to the effort of collating together every single one of his wildest and most unhinged moments. And there were a lot of them.

But now, Pattinson has taken that antic energy to the next level with a GQ interview that might be the strangest celebrity profile ever published.

In it, Pattinson comes across as a collection of left-turns, held together by sheer force of will. For a start, he tells journalist Zach Baron that he has no idea what Christopher Nolan’s forthcoming Tenet is about, which is unusual, given that Pattinson stars in it.

Then, there’s his admission that he is straight-up ignoring the intense celebrity diet he was told he needed to be on to stay ripped for his role in The Batman. “I think if you’re working out all the time, you’re part of the problem,” Pattinson said, which might as well be a mantra for life.

But then there’s the wildest moment of all, about halfway through, where Pattinson reveals that he’s interested in getting into the fast food game. Or more specifically, he’s interested in creating his very own pasta brand. Or more specifically than that, a pasta brand that you can hold in your fingers, like a gremlin.

“I was trying to figure out how to capitalize in this area of the market, and I was trying to think: How do you make a pasta which you can hold in your hand?” Pattinson says.

In fact, Pattinson took his pasta plans so far that he actually met with a celebrity chef, and started experimenting with a panini press. But the chef didn’t seem very into it. “His facial expression didn’t even change afterwards,” Pattinson said. “Let alone acknowledge what my plan was. There was absolutely no sign of anything from him, literally. And so it kind of put me off a little bit.”

But not entirely deterred, Pattinson spends a large portion of the interview teaching Baron his recipe for takeaway pasta. And it sounds — I’m not gonna lie — horrendous.

Long live Robert Pattinson, the strangest man on the planet Earth.