People unfollow people on social media every day. But most of these unfollows come from ‘thirst accounts’ who’re just after followers. They’re strangers, after all.

But what happens when it’s a close friend? A friend who you haven’t fought with in the weeks leading up to the unfollow. They’ve made a deliberate act of unfollowing you and you’re left high and dry.

Being unfollowed always feels so personal. Here’s how to deal with it if you’re unfollowed on social media.

#1 Stay Calm

It’s hard not to blow up after a friend has unfollowed you, especially if they belong to the same friendship group. But it could’ve been an honest mistake. The initial step is to stay calm and acknowledge that they’ve unfollowed you and accept you might not know the whole story yet.

#2 Ask About It

You can choose to ask your friend why they unfollowed you or you can choose to ignore it. Things running through your head could be: ‘It could’ve been a mistake’, ‘Maybe I’m just not the pro chef I think I am’, ‘Maybe they’ll follow me again in a few days’, and ‘They might be doing a massive Instagram cull’.

But if you’re the type of person who needs closure, I recommend approaching them to ask about the unfollow online rather than in person because it’s less confronting. Start your message calmly: ‘Hey X, How are you? I’ve noticed that we aren’t friends anymore on X… has something been bothering you? I don’t mean to sound interrogating but I’d just really like some closure.’

#3 Be Prepared For ‘Seen’ And No Reply

The annoying thing is that people can be insanely afraid of confrontation even if it’s presented to them delicately. If your message is ‘seen’ but you don’t get a reply, then we’re afraid they’re probably taking their answer to the grave. It’s time you accepted that you’ve been unfollowed.

The frustrating thing is, that you’ve lost a friend without knowing why and it’ll probably stay that way. It hurts, it’s not fair and maybe there’s no reason.

#4 Don’t Get Upset

Don’t do what I did and get upset. The best thing to do is to accept it and to move on. By all means question the holes in their story but know that they’re probably not going to change their mind. Remind them that you’ve had no beef (if you haven’t) and let them know that you’ve been hurt by their decision. But don’t go on an spew of anger as it will convince them they made the right choice.

5#Accept That It Won’t Be The Same IRL Anymore

Once somebody has unfollowed you, they’ll probably try to avoid you in real life as well. Being unfollowed hurts, but it also sheds light on who wants to be in your life and who doesn’t. At the end of the day, why dedicate yourself to someone who isn’t interested?

If you’re curious, there are dozens of unfollower apps that you can use to tap into more detail. For example, Unfollowers For Instagram not only tells you who unfollowed you, but also who’s followed you, who doesn’t follow back and who’s blocked you. It clearly lists the information and costs nothing.

(Lead image: Friends/NBC)