Culture

Write Your Own Mediocre Bestselling Erotica Trilogy With The ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ Text Generator

"He kisses me, and my muscles clench deep inside me. The sensual strains of Kings of Leon waft through the air. How appropriate."

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Are you a starving writer? Is your genius going unrecognised and unappreciated? Continually frustrated that no one will publish your groundbreaking novel about a young guy dealing with his feelings as he slowly grows into a man?

You’re in luck, Hemingway — a genius on the internet has swung it so you can publish a smash-hit bestseller like the Fifty Shades trilogy without ever having to actually write anything. Google developer Lisa Wray has just released the Fifty Shades of Grey Text Generator, a handy program that spits out a hundred words of steamy, pleasingly vague erotica for the world’s unfulfilled middle class that’s indistinguishable from the real thing.

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The generator’s more sophisticated algorithm means the end product is a step up from the usual jumble of relevant buzzwords mashed together into a pleasing goop, as it actually creates coherent, readable sentences, albeit ones with references to dreadful pop artists.

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“I can hear a song by Miley Cyrus drifting through the air. How unexpected.”

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Play with it here, and feed your inner Goddess.