Gaming

Everybody Loves Wooloo, The New Pokemon That’s Literally A Sheep

"Wooloo dislike conflict, and if they need to escape from enemies, they will simply roll away."

Wooloo from Pokemon Sword and Shield

Yesterday, Nintendo held a press conference where they announced a bevy of factoids about Pokemon Sword and Shield, the two new instalments of one of the biggest entertainment franchises in history. They announced new gameplay modes, new rivals, new trainers, and a new feature that makes your Pokemon get really, really big.

But fuck all that noise, cause they also announced the existence of a sheep Pokemon named Wooloo, who made literally everything else revealed as important as a fart in a bathtub.

Wooloo is one of the four Generation Eight Pokemon announced as part of the two games, which are set in the leafy land of Galar. But the other three are literally a flower, a bird, and a turtle, so who gives a shit?

Wooloo by contrast, is a big furry ball of light and goodness, whose mere presence is enough to put all in a sense of tranquil calm and peace. I mean, just look at this beautiful thing, rendered in exquisite detail by an adoring fan:

So far, not much is known about what Wooloo actually does, but, again, who gives an actual single shit? The Pokemon’s two main abilities are “Fluffy” and “Run Away”, and, according to a Nintendo exec, it “craves stability.” Are there literally any other three facts that could immediately make a creature quite so loveable? I doubt it.

Basically, Wooloo: has anxiety; loves to sleep; is distressed by change; and exudes love. That, to me, is a perfect animal.

Turns out the internet agrees. We’ve only had the sheep-based legend in our life for less than 12 hours, and already it’s become a beloved meme.

Because this is the internet, Wooloo has also been given a deliciously sinister edge, with users noting a similarity in energy between the sheep and Black Phillip, the insidious goat from The Witch.

Also, not to be obnoxious, but if you love this fictional sheep and think it’s really cute and full of agency and desires and preferences, may I interest you in a little something called vegetarianism?

In any case, thank you, Wooloo, for making the world a better place.

Pokemon Sword and Shield drops this November!