While You Were Sleeping, Apple Unveiled An Extremely Green iPhone

...And a bunch of other things, too.

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Meet Apple’s Two New iPhones — And The iOS7 And iTunes Radio Launch Date:

At an event overnight in California, Apple CEO Tim Cook unveiled two new iPhones;the first two-pronged smartphone release in Apple’s history.

The Apple Ugly Cheapo — known on the market as the iPhone 5C — starts at $739 outright for 16GB and $869 for 32GB, and comes in five colours of hard plastic: blue, green, pink, yellow and white.

The 5C is Apple’s attempt to grab back the consumers they’ve lost to Samsung and the rest of the saturated Android market; with internal specs that basically match the iPhone 5, it comes with a 4-inch Retina display, an 8-megapixel rear-facing camera and an A6 chip.


Gross, huh? Don’t worry, you can cover it up with one of these disgusting new cases:


Meanwhile, the Apple $exy $nazz — known as the iPhone 5S — is, according to Apple’s Phil Schiller, “the most forward-looking phone we have ever created.” It is available in a champagne gold, silver and grey, and has fingerprint activation, a 4-inch Retina display and 8 megapixel camera (but with autofocus like a DSLR, a larger sensor, an f/2.2 lens, image stabilisation, and the ability to shoot in slo-mo). It also contains the 64-bit “A7” chip, which the company says will make it work twice as fast as the iPhone 5. The graphics, it says, will be 56 times faster.

The Apple $exy $nazz costs $869 outright for 16GB, and $999 for 32GB.


But wait, there’s more! The revamped mobile software, iOS7, will be available on all iPhones, iPads and iPod Touches from September 18 — the same date that Apple’s new streaming service, iTunes Radio, launches. The new phones will be available from Apple and through Telstra, Optus and Vodafone from Friday September 20.

Kanye West And Janelle Monae Both Killed It On Late Night TV 

According to Jimmy Fallon’s Twitter, the visit last night from Kanye West was a surprise to him. But it was certainly not a surprise to Kanye, who brought with him an incredibly adorable children’s choir to perform the soul section part of ‘Bound 2’, and to mentally block out the part where Yeezy raps “I wanna fuck you hard on the sink“.

It was a spectacular pre-tour performance with The Roots that lit up the internet, and included a nice little jab at his jousting partner, Kim Kardashian’s ex-boyfriend Ray J: “Brandy’s little sister lame, man, he know it now; When a real brother hold you down you supposed to drown“.

Almost — but not quite — enough to overshadow the bite-sized Janelle Monae performance of ‘Dance Apocalyptic’ over on Letterman.

I could watch her feet move until the end of time.

You’re My Wife? Holy Shit! 

Jason Mortensen was dosed up on morphine after surgery, to fix up some tears from a previous operation.

When he woke up, his wife was standing next to him.

He didn’t recognise her. But it was all okay.

Watch A Full Episode Of The Mindy Project, Featuring James Franco:

We have no idea how long it’s going to take for Hulu and Fox to geoblock this one, so grab it while it’s hot: the second season premiere of The Mindy Project has been given the early stream treatment — and features guest star and professional thing-doer James Franco as a gynaecologist.

The Mindy Project returns to Fox on September 17.