Politics

The Victorian Liberal Party Is So Desperate It’s Made A Card Game Called “Daniel Andrews Sucks”

There's also an accompanying website, danielandrews.sucks

by Sam Langford  21 November 2018
The Victorian Liberals have created a card game and website titled "Daniel Andrews Sucks"

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Well, we’re guessing the Victorian election is going badly for the Liberal Party, because its latest campaign strategy is, uh, a card game. Called “Daniel Andrews Sucks”.

Yes, you read that right: the Libs are trying to encourage voters to play an (honestly kind of complex) card game, which they’re billing as both “Australia’s newest and most exciting card game” and a method to “give you a better understanding of the failures of the last four years”. Because absolutely, a complicated card game accessible only on the bespoke website danielandrews.sucks is an effective way to communicate with the voting public.

Oh, yeah, and while we’re talking about the website, there’s that, too — the Victorian Liberals have registered the website “danielandrews.sucks” (we’re not linking to it because it’s shithouse) and filled it with content similar to this card game, alongside shoddily photoshopped images of Daniel Andrews that must have taken them a while to pull together.

And while the entire site does look like some random amateurs have pulled it together to mock the Liberals, we’re happy to inform you that actually, the Liberal Party walked into this self-own all by themselves. The site’s authorised by the Victorian Liberal Party state director Nick Demiris, and Matthew Guy has even bragged about it via press release.

Anyway, back to the card game: it’s actually fairly complicated and I fell asleep halfway through the rule book, only to be reawakened by this cracker of a line: “if someone plays a Joker card, which shows the Joker himself Daniel Andrews, that player automatically wins the reward card for that round without other players having to vote”. We’re sure Daniel Andrews must be absolutely reeling after that sick burn.

I’m bored now, so to sum up: the Victorian State Election is in three days, and this is what the Liberals are spending their time and resources on. Say it with me now: