‘The Veronicas: Blood Is For Life’ E4+E5 Recap: Will There Be Blood?
The Veronicas steal a tomato, then they play poor for a day. Fun!
Everything’s coming up Veronicas: according to Blood Is For Life, there’s no obstacle they can’t overcome.
It might be true, too — they’re currently bringing massive crowds in for their Good Things sets across Australia, proving they’re much more than a novelty booking on the hard-leaning festival’s line-up. The wall-of-deaths and circle pits during ‘Untouched’ speak to that.
In each episode of their MTV show, there’s some drama — whether it be a missing costume, a struggling voice, moving their house in time — but it always resolves in two seconds.
With only one episode left, it’s clear Blood Is For Life isn’t going to go particularly ‘deep’ or ‘raw’ (or touch the Qantas incident). Once it accepted that, it’s been a pretty enjoyable ride.
Low-stakes is fun; it also means I completely forgot to watch last week, hence this being a two-in-one recap. Luckily, it’s an easy show to condense. Let’s get snipping.
Road Trip!
We start episode four with the sisters returning from the US to the flat they shared in Brisbane, and we meet their “really good friend” Tim, this handsome, not-camera confident barista from down the road. We hear that Lisa’s husband Logan introduced them one day after heading to the café, but it’s unclear how they are actually friends, and seem to have very little in common.
There is a very odd moment where Tim says he only hangs out with the twins; considering they travel so much, Tim needs to get out more. Anyway, we love Tim, because he is awkward in this way that I find very attractive.
Tim is on the right, and despite his smile, his eyes betray a deep fear. “What do I do with my face? Is this normal? Do I look okay right now?,” he thinks, confused as to why he’s on the show.
After an impromptu haircut, the trio begin a long drive down to Sydney, where they’re performing ‘Think Of Me’ live for the first time on MTV’s TRL. The editors get confused and add this shot of Kings Cross into the section where they go to a restaurant in The Blue Mountains, after using their names to get a table then stealing a tomato from the restaurant’s farm.
The editors absolutely gave up on E4.
During the heist, they’re wearing giant fluffy coats while everyone around them is in single layers and shorts: they are channelling Joanna the Scammer. Earlier, they get accidentally drunk in their hotel room and then accidentally sound super depressed.
The end of Marriage Story.
Eventually, they get to Sydney and perform: Jess worries her voice is gone, but it’s fine! Phew.
Moving Time
In episode five, the twins are moving into their dream home. Partners Kai and Logan fly in, and they drive to their rainforest retreat in separate cars, allowing us to see Jess and Lisa apart. Like a few episodes back, the breathing room establishes their own identities: where Lisa and Logan talk about their sustainable, 100 percent sufficient dream home, we see Kai and Jess chat about dumb shit.
‘I’m actually really into Voguing right now’
We also learn Jess proposed to Kai on their first date in an LA parking lot. These sisters have famous brain-worms, but we love it all the same. Well, except when they head to Woolworths and set a ‘fun challenge’ where they each buy a week’s groceries for $40.
We get that they’re ‘budgeting’, but playing poor lands a little off — it’s not fun for Newstart recipients to live off $40 a day and decide whether to go without medication or a meal. Rather than cancel The Veronicas, we’d more blame MTV for not having the wide-view of the scene. It’s just a bit of a shame, that’s all; luckily, it’s about two minutes of the show.
There’s a lot shoved in this ep. We meet their dad, a cosmetic industry veteran, so he can sniff their upcoming perfume (surprise, he loves it!); Lisa learns how to drive, and they pack up their apartment. With the latter, they donate a lot of clothes to trim down the wardrobe, and Ruby Rose makes a surprise appearance:
‘Stream Catwoman on Google Plus!’
Lisa and Logan need Marie Kondo’s help, because the two get nostalgic about everything they pick up, and are far from ready by the time the removalist gets there. He is straight out of David Williamson’s The Removalist:
‘I am a stand in for the Ocker archetype, and my work here is done. Hoo roo!’
Meanwhile, Lisa is getting nostalgic over a wand Logan carved for her and painted a crescent moon on with his own blood. Celebrities, they’re just like us.
So romantic!
Next week’s Blood Is For Life‘s finale, and tensions simmer as the twins move into their dream home and fight over who gets which room. Will we end with a high-stakes fight and bloodshed, or will The Veronicas reconcile, and live happily ever after?
We have an idea, but either way, we can’t wait for the tie-in single. See you next week — I won’t forget, I promise.
Jared Richards is a staff writer at Junkee, and co-host of Sleepless In Sydney on FBi Radio. He is on Twitter.