Women Are Tricking Gross Men Who Send Them Dick Pics Into Thinking They’re Getting Arrested
"Hi, my cock. Can we talk?"
Opening your direct message requests on social media is always a massive gamble if you’re a woman.
I mean, sure, sometimes it can be a fairly innocent message that falls into your inbox. But in the majority of cases, these attempts at communication tend to be unsolicited dick pics or sexual messages from men with zero respect for you or themselves.
Despite women constantly sharing that they feel that unsolicited dick pics are disgusting, these genital photos from strangers are still a far too common problem.
Beyond these dick shots being so God awfully ugly, these photos force women to look at sexual images they never asked to see. Really, if a man in the street pulled down his pants and forced you to look at his hideous penis in real life, he would be arrested for indecent exposure.
So, women are taking that same legal energy to the men who send unsolicited dick pics to them on social media, by sending back fake auto-reply messages that make these men think they’re going to get arrested.
absolutely thrilled with this he’s shite himself pic.twitter.com/Qh1fu6OdfL
— three steaks pam (@alexandrakuri) September 6, 2020
Alexandra Kuri, an artist from North Yorkshire in England, went viral after sharing her attempt at scaring off her most recent dick pic-sender.
After “Mano” sent the message “my cock, can we talk?” alongside a photo of his aforementioned cock, Alexandra decided to send a totally fake, but very believable, auto-reply message that freaked Mano out so much, he deleted his entire Twitter account.
“AUTO-REPLY: We have detected the transmission of unsolicited pornographic images of potentially illegal nature [code:36489-a] and your device’s IP address has been forwarded to the police department pending an investigation. If you think this is a mistake, reply STOP,” Alexandra wrote back to the horny man.
Clearly scared and panicked, Mano wrote back “STOP” a number of times in the hopes that he could stop the fake police investigation from going any further. Still worried, Mano then decided that the only appropriate course of action was to delete his entire account in hopes of his IP address becoming untraceable.
also lmaooo your man has truly wet the bed pic.twitter.com/BkWBGvbeY0
— three steaks pam (@alexandrakuri) September 6, 2020
But Alexandra was not the first to use a fake auto-reply message to trick men into thinking law enforcement were alerted after an unsolicited dick pic was sent.
After @FruityNesa posted her iconic exchange back in August, she also went mega-viral for her fake automated message from the “Twitter team”, after a man ignored her request that he not send a photo of his “tiny penis.”
Using a similar format to Alexandra, Nesa’s fake message explained that the dick pic was a “violation of 42 U.S.C § 1283 (2020)” after it had been “scanned by [Twitter’s] AI Bot and was flagged as an unsolicited picture”.
Threatening to send the man’s account information to the police within 24 hours, the message gave him the opportunity to retract his original photo by texting “HELP” as the bot was “currently in BETA testing” and sometimes makes mistakes.
Shit scared, the sender replied “HELP” within a minute of the automated message being sent, to which Nesa simply replied “no fuck u”.
I don't typically post dms but I was really proud of this one. pic.twitter.com/oDgLXeI8ho
— Fruity Nessa 🍍 (@FruityNesa) August 12, 2020
Prior to this, US director, Jenn Tisdale, also thought of her own master plan to shame gross men by pretending that she had installed an app called “Cockblock”, which stopped dick pics from appearing, while simultaneously sending them over to the police, too.
Receiving the image via Instagram messages, Jenn shared screenshots of the hilarious exchange to Twitter, where the sender’s growing concern was evident.
Explaining that he had only sent the photo as the “punchline” to a “really shitty joke”, Jenn acted as though she had no idea that the image was a penis at all. Blaming her photo blocker for removing the image, Jenn explained that sometimes “very sad men, the saddest men, men so, so, so sad, so incredibly sad and unfuckable, try to send inappropriate pics”.
Not realising that Jenn had already seen the photo, the dick pic-sender tried to act as though he agreed that men were gross, calling them “animals” and saying that the Cockblock app creator needed to “be given a Nobel prize” for their innovative creation.
But once Jenn continued to praise the app and its ability to send the unsolicited dick pic and Instagram profile to local police as the basis of a sexual harassment report, the man left her on read and never replied again. Likely because he was freaking out and trying not to cry, like all the other men who were tricked into thinking they would be arrested for their disgusting penis pictures.
This morning I received an unsolicited dick pic via @instagram from a man I do not know. What follows is a beautiful story I wove about an app I made up, that should exist. Enjoy! pic.twitter.com/7O9VDpwPct
— QuaranTisdale (@Jenn_Tisdale) February 2, 2020
God, women really are the best. And men, stop sending us your penises.