A Woman Claimed That “Real Italians” Mix Their Spaghetti On Counters & I Think The Fuck Not
Ah, yes. Pasta sauce and cheese from a plastic bottle slathered across a table just like every single Italian grandma used to make.
I think we can all agree that it’s hard to make a bad pasta. It’s just boiled dough and sauce, right? Well, one woman has actually managed to ruin pasta forever with her extremely cursed “Ultimate Spaghetti Trick”.
How bad can it really be, I hear you ask. Well, the answer is bad. Very bad. This is because the entire “trick” is to ditch all plates, bowls — plus any remaining self-respect you have — and just pour all the ingredients onto the dirty counter like a wild animal.
Josh and Lisa, a shared couple’s page (red flag number one), uploaded the hack to Facebook where it quickly gained 24 million views as people watched on in shock and disgust. It has since been uploaded to Twitter, where it went viral again with much of the same sentiment — and it’s clear why. It’s just all so fucked.
The woman, who I can only assume is Lisa of Josh and Lisa, starts her terrible “family style” pasta dish by pouring two giant jars of pre-made pasta sauce (red flag number two) right onto the counter.
“All my friends are coming over and this is the easiest way to make spaghetti for a crowd and it’s fun. It’s all just right in front of you. You don’t have to worry about dishes or a mess or anything like that,” the woman is heard saying, while making the largest mess known to man directly onto her countertop.
She then follows the sea of sauce with some dry looking “meta-ball-sa” while her friend gases the terrible idea up in the background as if she’s never seen a meatball in her life. Then comes the container of “parmesan cheese” (red flag number three) that’s dumped onto the sludge pile.
Yet, somehow, it still manages to get worse. The woman piles on two entire pots full of steaming hot pasta, and begins the disgusting mixing process to combine the sadness, disappointment, and horror her guests are about to consume.
In the full video, the pasta murderer continues to mix her sludge and then genuinely tries to claim that “real Italians” actually make their spaghetti in the same way, which is a bold-faced LIE. Who’s nonna is slapping pre-made sauce, pre-shredded cheese, and pre-packaged pasta onto their kitchen bench for a meal?!
Regardless, for the pièce de résistance, our Italian queen slides some cold salad that’s slathered in “Italian dressing” right next to steaming pile of “spaghetti” so it can immediately wilt and become even worse. Oh, and four pieces of bread! Delicious, right?
WRONG. EVERYONE RIGHTFULLY HATES THE CURSED TABLE PASTA.
for me it’s when she says “you don’t have to worry about a mess or anything like that”
— rita kozlov (@ritakozlov_) May 10, 2021
prego from a plastic bottle slathered across a table: just like every single Italian grandma used to make
— Robert Evans (The Only Robert Evans) (@IwriteOK) May 11, 2021
— shackleshotgun 2 (@ShackleOhNo) May 10, 2021
pasta deserves better
— Garfield (@Garfield) May 11, 2021
Thank God someone finally simplified the complicated meal of premade meatballs, premade spaghetti sauce, pre-grated parmesan cheese, and spaghetti.
— Progressive Twit-Hotter than a Garden Gnome (@ProgressiveTwit) May 11, 2021
She saved a pan and murdered Italian cuisine.
— John Pavlovitz (@johnpavlovitz) May 11, 2021
Sadly, this Ultimate Spaghetti Trick isn’t the first of its kind.
White women have turned spreading miscellaneous foods all over their counters into a disgusting trend. I mean, how can anyone forget the infamous “Taco Cone” video, which is objectively about 73 times worse than the spaghetti sludge?
You thought the spaghetti prego video was bad? Wait until you see the taco vid: pic.twitter.com/jArTIS7gNN
— ZaxPrefersTV (@zaxptv) May 11, 2021
I pray for the day that we return to plates and bowls. Or even just pots and pans? Cups? Hell, I’ll take anything at this point.