Tumblr Just Sold For Under $3 Million And This Is Why You Don’t Ban Porn
In December 2018, Tumblr announced that it was instituting a ban on adult content. Cast out of their Garden of Hedon, the site’s thriving community of thirst traps and thots suddenly found itself a band of outlaws.
Established purveyors of boob and butt shots were scattered to the winds, cursing the haven that once sheltered them and foretelling a far-off but inevitable justice. Now, that day has finally come.
Today, Verizon Media announced the sale of microblogging site Tumblr to Automattic, the owner of WordPress.com. Though Verizon’s announcement did not disclose the terms of the agreement, Dan Primack from Axios subsequently reported that the site was sold for less than US$3 million.
This is a ridiculous drop in value, considering that Yahoo purchased Tumblr for US$1.1 billion in 2013. Yahoo was acquired by Verizon Media in 2017, and Tumblr along with it.
tumblr wiped out $1,097,000,000 in value by making hoeing illegal. a cautionary tale
— tinybaby (@tinybaby) August 12, 2019
Many online are blaming the less than ideal sale price on Tumblr’s infamous porn ban. The Verge reported in March that Tumblr’s traffic had dropped by almost 30 percent since the imposition of the ban, as everyone from porn hounds to bloggers discussing sexuality left the site for nuder pastures.
Even users who were uninterested in dick pics found the ban onerous, as it often erroneously flagged content that was safe for work. Prior to the ban, Tumblr was known for having a thriving queer community, and provided a valuable resource for people wanting to learn more about sexuality, gender identity and their bodies. Unfortunately, this community felt stifled by the site’s new measures.
Now, those boned by the boner ban are gleefully interpreting Tumblr’s US$3 million sale as a cautionary tale against trammelling the tiddies.
remember when tumblr ruined their own site "to deal with porn bots" and then the porn bots were still there afterward but they didn't bother doing anything else and instead just wallowed in their declining userbase until they got sold
Quality Management from yahoo there
— Aura✨Moom (@MOOMANiBE) August 12, 2019
Selling tumblr for 3 million in 2019 pic.twitter.com/YqwNnZgsZ6
— MEME zine (@mememageyzine) August 13, 2019
Watching Yahoo get fucked over because Tumblr screwed over pornographic accounts, which caused everybody to leave and now it's a worth a measly million dollars pic.twitter.com/kWpRKazZOl
— ザック九十二 (@zp925) August 13, 2019
So Yahoo bought tumblr for 1.1 billion, then WordPress bought it for 3 million… if I play my cards right in about 3 years I can get it for about 20 bucks
— Kate Leth 🌈 FlameCon K92 (@kateleth) August 12, 2019
At $3 million selling price, users could have *crowdfunded* ownership of Tumblr.
FFS there's electric teakettle vaginas that bring in $3 million on Kickstarter in under ten minutes.
— Nash Across the 8th Dimension (@Nash076) August 13, 2019
tumblr nosediving and getting sold for peanuts after banning porn instead of nazis we LOVE to see it pic.twitter.com/BC8qg5WXAY
— tap, film tweet bot (@Par1sIsBurning) August 13, 2019
Though US$3 million is more money than most of us will ever see at once, it’s a paltry sum when we’re talking about the valuation of such a large and notorious website.
Some have pointed out that Tumblr’s US$3 million sale price could also buy you one (1) simple home in a populous area, which is as much an indictment on property prices as it is on Tumblr’s current valuation.
In Silicon Valley, $3 million will get you Tumblr or this modest three bedroom family house. pic.twitter.com/uRa6PRbrD5
— Matthew Yglesias (@mattyglesias) August 12, 2019
You could buy Tumblr (less than $3 million) or this 640-square foot shack in San Francisco ($2.5 million) for basically the same price pic.twitter.com/nCqWUMpEyj
— Scott Lucas (@ScottLucas86) August 12, 2019
Tumblr is now worth less than a house in Vancouver…turns out people liked the NC 17 content 😂 https://t.co/IgYDQ4ELJs
— Lou Sturm (@loutangclan) August 13, 2019
You could have bought 1.76 median priced homes in San Francisco for the price of Tumblr https://t.co/wLrOqoWT8Y
— Nick Stuart (@_NickStuart_) August 13, 2019
Though if you aren’t in the property market, there are many other equally valuable things that US$3 million will buy you.
congrats to tumblr on being worth less than this one fish pic.twitter.com/4FO2whfWkv
— unlicensed professional (@KrangTNelson) August 13, 2019
oh wait it sold for three million? tumblr sold for less than it cost to produce my big fat greek wedding
— spencer『 MIND PRISON 』soares (@PIZZASCRUB) August 13, 2019
US$3 million is also the amount recently won by a 16-year-old for playing Fortnite.