Culture

Wait, Tony Armstrong Was Actually Meant To Be ‘The Bachelor’?

Relieved this didn't happen, personally.

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Apparently there’s a world in which Tony Armstrong could’ve helmed Network 10’s The Bachelor, and can we take a moment to appreciate that this didn’t happen?

Word has it that the ABC sports reporter and dog documentary host was possibly, allegedly in talks with Network 10 to take on the eponymous role but pulled out before signing as he was worried it would damage his “brand and career”.

The rumours emerged on Megan Pustetto’s podcast So Dramatic! yesterday and was born from an unnamed individual who said, “He thought it might not align with his personal branding and could actually ruin future career prospects.” So, brand and career.

But god, can you imagine? Tony Armstrong as The Bachelor? Slinging roses at ladies clad in evening dresses, sipping on champagne in a hot air balloon… I don’t watch this show. But I do know that plopping Tony into this modern-day harem would be a harrowing, uncomfortable watch, and what’s more, I don’t want to see this much of him.

A bit of mystique is part of Armstrong’s appeal, is it not? And I’m sorry, but watching Armstrong date on TV? My god, haven’t straight women been through enough?

Of course, these are all just rumours; it may be that people are just making things up for kicks. Whatever the case, I think I’ve made my point. Keep Tony Armstrong appearances to John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight. Thank you.