Tide Pods Now Come In A Goon Sack, Which Will Definitely Stop Teens From Eating Them

Hello, and welcome to today’s coverage of Truly Bad Ideas. We regret to inform you that Tide pods now come in goon sack form.

If none of the words in that sentence made sense, here’s your recap: Tide pods are those laundry detergent pods that made headlines earlier this year when the company had to beg teens to please, please stop eating them. No one really knows why teens were eating these (poisonous) pods of laundry detergent in the first place — I mean, they look a bit like a lolly, but they’re also clearly laundry detergent.

Anyway, the company behind Tide pods has now come up with a wild new way to deliver laundry detergent: in a box with a fitted tap, that looks exactly like box wine. Because there’s no way teens will misinterpret that as an invitation to ingest the stuff.

jeez if you think teens like eating tide pods now, wait til you give them the good shit in a goon bag https://t.co/kDmfit7Rca

— Eleanor Robertson (@marrowing) November 12, 2018

Speaking to Buzzfeed, Tide said that “to be sure people know this is detergent, we put a large picture of our Tide bottle on the side of the box”. Well, that’ll solve it.

I asked Tide about how everyone is saying the Tide box looks like delicious laundry wine.

"We all know laundry detergent is for cleaning clothes. To be sure people know this is detergent, we put a large picture of our Tide bottle on the side of the box." https://t.co/FAtVCyKQLq

— Katie Notopoulos (@katienotopoulos) November 12, 2018

Tide: We have a foolproof plan to make sure no one ever accidentally ingests Tide again pic.twitter.com/B2Y6wQXIAI

— Joshua Topolsky (@joshuatopolsky) November 12, 2018

Anyway, people have already gone right ahead and launched a new Tide meme, which you should absolutely not participate in (seriously, don’t drink this, it’s toxic). Still, enjoy looking at this nice wine — sorry, Tide — pairing. Just don’t eat it.

Tide box wine pairs well with a nice sauteed Tide Free & Gentle for your weekly date night pic.twitter.com/5KNn1LikZs

— jake, math lover (@watislive) November 12, 2018

Let’s just hope this new packaging doesn’t hit Australia any time soon. Tide of Fortune, anyone?

australian teens are absolutely going to goon of fortune washing detergent aren’t they pic.twitter.com/so4kkOET1f

— Mark Di Stefano 🤙🏻 (@MarkDiStef) November 12, 2018