My Favourite Thing On The Internet Is This Clip From A British Morning TV Program
"If my grandmother had wheels, she would have been a bike."
In these troubled times, we all need that small something we can turn to that’s always guaranteed to put a smile on our faces. My colleagues at Junkee have written before about Tom Holland’s Umbrella lip sync, and Liza Minelli turning off a lamp, but for me there’s one clip that’s always guaranteed to cheer me up: It’s the “If My Grandmother Had Wheels She Would Have Been A Bike” clip, from UK morning show, This Morning.
This week just happens to be the 10th anniversary of the clip, which pops into my social media feeds about once a month, and never fails to delight me.
If you haven’t seen it, the premise is simple: We are watching your standard morning TV cooking segment. Celebrity chef Gino D’Acampo is cooking an authentic Italian pasta dish, when host Holly Willoughby innocently notes that if the dish just had a little ham in it, it would be closer to a British [?] carbonara.
The next few seconds are as wonderfully tense and cinematic as anything you’ll see on the big screen. Willoughby seemingly realises she’s put her foot on it, but rather than back off, she doubles down, saying, “It’s true! Y’know what I mean?”.
Next to her, Gino seethes with rage, poking at the dish that, just a few seconds ago, looked wonderful, but now seems entirely inadequate due to its dearth of ham. Willoughby’s co-host, Phillip Schofield, sensing a moment, eggs them on with a pointed “oh no” and an “I’m glad you’re standing there [next to D’Acampo]”.
Then it happens. Gino looks directly at Holly and explodes. In his beautiful Italian accent, he spits out the immortal phrase: “If my grandmother had wheels, she would have been a bike”. Phil and Holly immediately lose it, choking on their pasta and doubling over with laughter, as the crew giggles in the background.
There’s just something perfect about the clip; Gino’s rage, Holly’s innocence, and Phil’s malevolent laments. I can’t get enough of it. It turns out that “If my grandmother had wheels…” is actually a classic, sarcastic Italian response used when someone wishes a situation was entirely different to the reality in front of them.
The Best Of ‘This Morning’
And if you’re not familiar with This Morning, I strongly suggest you spend the rest of the day watching the show’s Youtube channel. Holly and Phil are probably Britain’s most famous morning TV duo, having hosted the show together since 2009 (Phil has been with the show since 2002). They’re famous for losing control on the show, falling into fits of laughter and having to throw to a break while they compose themselves. It truly is a delight.
They’ve had a stack of viral moments over the years, including appearing a little drunk after a big night out (hello Karl Stefanovic), actually managing to make Harrison Ford laugh, and an incredible April Fool’s prank.
I also strongly recommend watching the best moments of weather presenter Alison Hammond, who is absolutely perfect.
So, you’re welcome, please spend the rest of the day falling down a This Morning wormhole.