TV

The World’s Most Popular And Horrifying Dating Show Is Looking For Australian Contestants

'If You Are The One' wants you (to humiliate yourself in front of 50 million people)!

Between Married At First Sight wedding random strangers for kicks at the same time our LGBT communities solemnly fight for the opportunity to get married at all and The Bachelor careening effortlessly into satire, you may have a pretty bleak perception of reality dating shows. Our primetime viewing is full of women looking generally unhappy and sabotaging one another in order to win the staged affections of an enormous, sentient (admittedly chiselled) plank of wood.

But this is all nothing compared to If You Are The One. The enormously popular Chinese dating show turned cult international hit draws an audience of up to 50 million people per episode and is the most spectacular ritual humiliation you’ve ever seen. It involves 24 women standing on podiums around a single man and ruthlessly judging him through the means of one light that can be turned on or off, and countless putdowns.

Though some Australians have appeared on the show in the past, and it was in fact all based on Taken Out — a Channel 10 show of a similar style — they’re now formally opening applications to Australian contestants for the first time. To take part in one of two Australian specials filmed this December, you must be an Australian resident over 22 years old; you much be able to speak fluent Mandarin and you should have the cash ready to front half an airfare to China.

The pitch for this thing gets even better when reading the show’s press release:

“Are you terrified you’re going to die alone?” it reads. “Do you worry that no one will love you — ever? Are you sick of cooking for one? In a network first, SBS 2 is giving Australians the chance to find their soulmate and be a contestant on the world’s biggest dating show … Potential contestants must be willing to bare it all, from break-up histories and dating criteria, to their potential partner’s income expectations and favourite body part on the opposite sex.”

Here’s that charming offer once again from the show’s much-loved host Ming Fei:

And here’s a little of what you can expect from the whole experience:

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If You Are The One airs on SBS 2 every Saturday and Sunday at 7.30pm with repeats ever weeknight at 6.30pm. You can apply for the show here.