The Dyson Pure Hot+Cold Is My New Boyfriend

I remain perpetually single, allowing hope to burn eternal in the hearts of dreamers everywhere. But if I did have a partner, I imagine it would be a bit like having a Dyson Pure Hot+Cold.

I introduced Dyson’s three-in-one fan, heater and air purifier to my home with care, anxious that my family would like it. “This is the Dyson,” I told my border collie, who watched warily as I snapped the device’s carbon filter in. “Don’t stick your head in him.”

It isn’t a warning I give for other appliances, since Boatmeal is a clever boy, but the Pure Hot+Cold isn’t like other fans. It doesn’t have the large, fast-spinning blades traditionally associated with the gadgets, so you can’t scream into it.

Well, you can, but your voice won’t be chopped up into amusingly rippled sound. 

Instead, hot or cold air is blasted from the rim of a pill-shaped loop, which rests atop the Dyson’s filter. I don’t actually think the gap is wide enough for a dog as large as Boatmeal to get his head caught in. Still, I wasn’t going to take any chances.

The Pure Hot+Cold is simple to set up, but I danced around it at first, unsure how it would slot into our winter heating needs. We have a fireplace, portable oil heaters and an air conditioner with a heating mode, giving us several options to choose from depending on the situation. The Dyson seemed a luxurious but ultimately unnecessary addition. 

However, I quickly discovered the Dyson Pure Hot+Cold fulfilled one specific role I had not known needed filling: Personal companion.

I will often neglect to heat the house when I’m by myself. I see no point in wasting energy warming up a whole room when I’m the only one in it, so simply endure the chill until someone else enters my ice cave. The Dyson’s directed blast of warmth, however, was something I could justify.

It provides a narrow stream of air, really only suited to consistently warming one person at a time — or two cuddled together. But that intimate slice of warmth is all I really need. 

I soon took to carrying the 5.61kg Pure Hot+Cold from room to room with me. Whether I was playing Dota 2 on my gaming computer, working on my laptop at the kitchen bench, or scrolling through Netflix from the couch, the Dyson came to sit beside me, a remarkably quiet, warming presence. It can also be tilted up to gaze on me like Romeo admired Juliet on her balcony, which was useful when using a standing desk. I didn’t want to go anywhere in my home without it.

My family were quickly informed of the Dyson’s finer points, and began directing its attention to themselves. I’d arrive home to find the Dyson had been moved from its post beside my chair to protect my sister from the chill, or was cheering on my mum as she challenged strangers in Words With Friends.

I’m glad the Dyson gets along with my family, but I’m unashamed to admit I want to be the centre of attention when it comes to this. The Dyson Pure Hot+Cold can slowly oscillate by up to 350 degrees, and I often used the 180 degree setting to make it swing between me and those sitting beside me. However, I found this nowhere near as comforting and effective as having its steady heat directed solely at myself. I, the Dyson’s god, am a jealous god.

The Pure Hot+Cold’s heater tops out at 37C, though the low 20s were more than warm enough to soften Sydney’s winter. Cycling through the Dyson’s display provides information such as the ambient temperature of the room, the humidity and air quality.

Unfortunately I had difficulty testing all its functions due to the simple fact that the air in Sydney’s suburbia is clean enough not to register. Though I have a dander-producing dog and a stuffy bedroom, the Dyson never indicated any notable change in air quality.

You can link the Pure Hot+Cold to the Dyson Link app to monitor and schedule your fan’s operation from afar, but I found no use for this either. The fan doesn’t warm up a room like an oil heater, so there isn’t much point turning it on when nobody’s there. And rather than opening up an app, it’s easier to just grab the magnetic remote when I want to use it.

The Dyson Pure Hot+Cool is a small luxury, and pricey for what it is. The unit costs $899, and though it comes with an Inner Carbon Filter, you will eventually have to pay $55 to replace it. If you’re dying for the D and already enjoy clean air, you may be better off picking up something like the older Dyson Hot+Cool for $571. It doesn’t have an air filter, but most Australians don’t really need one. But then, who really needs a boyfriend?