Literally A Bunch Of Memes About How Ant-Man Should Defeat Thanos By Crawling Up His Ass
"ur tellin me in the 14 million futures Dr. Strange saw not one of them was Ant-Man crawling up Thanos' ass?"
There’s really no way around this, so we might as well cut right to the chase: ahead of the release of Avengers: Endgame, the internet has decided that the only way we’re all prepared to see Thanos die is if Ant Man shrinks down, crawls into the baddies’ asshole, and then turns back into regular size.
Now, I’ll admit, if you’re off this particular ideological train, then you’re off it pretty quickly. But let me, if I may, try to bring you around.
Thanos, as we know, is one of the most powerful beings in the galaxy. He was extremely powerful even before he collected the Infinity Gauntlet and its requisite Infinity Stones, and he’s even more powerful after it. With a single click of his fingers, he can reduce some of the most powerful heroes in the galaxy into a pile of dust, and an entire cinema-worth of children into bawling, popcorn-studded messes.
the MCU has led to this pic.twitter.com/gl34Uj7k8i
— Daniel Patterson (@dpatt0) March 28, 2019
But Thanos is humanoid, and like all humanoid creatures he has one fatal flaw. And no, it’s not hubris, but instead his unguarded and vulnerable anus.
Yes, like the thermal port on the Death Star, Thanos’ butthole is a severe design oversight in an otherwise impeccable bit of impenetrable architecture, simply waiting for a small man — perhaps the size of an ant — to crawl into it and then press a handy button that returns him to normal size, shattering the intergalactic despot in the process.
🔮👁🔮👁🔮 who gon check
🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮 me boo?
🐜 swiggity swooty I’m comin
for that booty
— gröøvy (@groovysalami) March 26, 2019
This novel defeat has been circulating on the internet for over a year — Paul Rudd even referenced it in July 2018, when he expressed doubts as to whether the method would even sufficiently dispatch the tyrant. But, ahead of the release of Avengers: Endgame, the Thanos’ butt theory, or TBT, is firmly back in vogue.
so paul rudd read my tweet about ant man crawling into thanos’ ass and expanding OUT LOUD in an INTERVIEW and discussed it i’m in shock pic.twitter.com/YfBsPMnfoW
— c a t (@filmgloss) July 21, 2018
ur tellin me in the 14 million futures Dr. Strange saw not one of them was Ant-Man crawling up Thanos' ass
— jaye 🌻 (@jayemaccc) March 26, 2019
literally almost every mcu fan: haha what if Nick Fury's eye was scratched out by the cat
Captain Marvel: Nick Fury's eye was scratched out by the cat
literally almost every mcu fan: haha what if ant-man went into thanos's ass then grew to defeat him
— Jennifer (@sapphic_tracer) March 25, 2019
If Thanos is killed by ant-man crawling up his butt, I will take back every bad thing I've ever said about any Marvel movie
— Justine Peres Smith (@redroomrantings) March 27, 2019
I have it on good authority that, yes, the Russos' original script had Ant-Man crawling up Thanos' ass but Disney nixed it because of China. Now The Wasp flies up Thanos' dick hole.
— Jordan Hoffman (@jhoffman) March 28, 2019
— Tanner Beaty (@TannerBeaty) March 22, 2019
avengers: “where’s ant man?”
— bruno-sencho 🍙 (@trxp_avatar) March 23, 2019
Thanos when Ant-Man dives inside his ass. pic.twitter.com/mcxeqB1mzq
— christypebeat (@christypebeat) March 23, 2019
Thanos's butthole: *exists*
Ant Man: pic.twitter.com/ZEMXiIl3aK
— Âbdûllâhî Âlî (@succboi11) March 19, 2019
stan lee watching everyone talk about how ant-man gonna defeat thanos by crawling into his asshole pic.twitter.com/aJBBLbccDB
— ʟᴏᴋɪ’s ʟᴀᴡʏᴇʀ (@poemsloki) March 22, 2019
Thanos’ asshole: *exists*
— Boosh (@whatsupboosh) March 21, 2019
ant-man to Thanos' prostate in Endgame: pic.twitter.com/uhxo5vrVSd
— Adam Moussa (@adamjmoussa) March 27, 2019
Honestly Ant-Man should just enter Thanos' ear so that he can then travel alongside the vestibulocochlear nerve through the internal acoustic meatus of the skull until he reaches Thanos' brain stem, where he can then expand with a high likelihood of defeating Thanos for good.
— Dr Grandayy (@grandayy) March 25, 2019
i'm tired of seeing these "ant man go up thanos butt in avengers endgame" memes on my tl
the correct term is thanus
— 〽️ax krieger's big mood (@MaxKriegerVG) March 23, 2019
Anyway, just as we demanded that Netflix should let us force Bear Grylls to drink piss in his forthcoming interactive special, so too do we hereby formally contest that Marvel should, and let me be completely clear about this, allow their big bad to be defeated by Paul Rudd climbing directly into his anus.
Nothing more needs to be said.
Avengers: Endgame will be in cinemas 24th April, 2019